Monday, November 14, 2005

L'Esprit d'Escalier


1. "Great, now we have to have the THX-1138's over for dinner."

2. Obviously, the new 'number guy' at Sesame Street is an affirmative action hire.

3. "So, how deep does the cellar in Bill Gate's house actually go? I just saw a three-headed dog."

4. "Wow, the slinky is still accelerating!"

5. "'... and once they reached the top of the staircase, their hearts were cut out by four priests and offered to their Goddess.' Okay, next stop, Cher's bedroom."

6. "Here's a banana peel smeared with some viscera... I think I can guess what happened to grandma."

7. "Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils, no pens. No paper clips or staples in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier only, no exceptions. If Mr. Dean attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand?"


From Detroit News/John Greilick

26 comments:

Submariner said...

In a little-known failed attempt, the remaining three Beattles tried to do a remix of #9 and the Abbey Road cover as an Ode to Robert Wagner...

Bubbalove said...

And down here, Ladies and Gentlemen, at the bottom of Dante's second level, we can see the original copy of the pact made between Satan and the Democratic party.

Submariner said...

Using a staircase to circum-navigate Mike al'Moore was a good idea, but why the heck did you make the bet that we could do it in less than 80 days?

Submariner said...

If that French news-babe ISN'T at the bottom of this climb, you are in for one heckuva beeting!

Submariner said...

The addition of homo-ladders didn't seem to have the success in the oil industry that PETA had hoped...

Submariner said...

When you said we were going to take a tour down some bloated white cylinder, I just assumed you were talking about Teddy and a trip to Nantucket...

Submariner said...

"And in this cylinder, we keep my ultra-secret mind control ray amplifier..." Karl Rove continues the Insider's Tour of the White House for Fox News.

Submariner said...

Hurry, up Lincoln 7 and Mazda 8! We have to get to the only biker bar in Unbelievable, NM before they catch us!

Submariner said...

I don't think "Gluttony" was the second one listed, but you gotta hand it to our boy - Exploding due to "...just one more little mint..." is a hell of an example to use!

Submariner said...

From the looks and feel of the hand-rail, It looks like Hillary's "joy ride" is running out of juice after just one floor...


(Don't you dare "ugh!" me, SOTG!)

ColoradoPatriot said...

Ever since Wal-Mart bought out the Grand Canyon, those hikes down to the river aren't the same anymore.

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Aw, man! I hate sitting down front. I told you we shouldn't have taken the Palisades."

Son Of The Godfather said...

It took awhile for Escher to actually make his drawings interesting.

(V, loved #1, #2,and #7... Sub, consider yourself "ugh"ed! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

It's sort of a moonbat-reverse-evolution illustration where, walking backwards up the evolutionary chart, a somewhat normal middle-aged man becomes Mary Mapes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"This is the 2nd level, where we keep all Submariner and SOTG's "poopy", "homo", "obscure reference", and "smelly pirate hooker" captions.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"2000 tons of white phosporous... 'Phase 2' of our assault on Smurfville is ready to commence."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Cher's "make-up vat number 2" has round-the-clock security.

Son Of The Godfather said...

In the first iteration of the much-much-lower-budgeted Peter Jackson film, Sam, Frodo, and Gollum descend the Tower of Cirith Ungol after a failed PowerPoint presentation to the Orcs.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"OK Jacques, I think the rioting has died down... we can come down from the Eiffel Tower now."

Submariner said...

Channel #2, "eau de Plutonium," was not a hit and resulted in something of a PR nightmare when Yucca Mountain residents said no.

(mornin' SOTG - loved the "Phase 2" Smurfville assault cap)

Submariner said...

"Please fasten your seatbelt and return your tray tables for the final approach into the Smithsonian's second sub-basement..."

"I told you that hiring ex-flight attendants as tour guides was a mistake."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Having been verbally pummelled with their own words by the President, the DemoCHUDS return to the safety of their Underworld.

(back atcha, sub!)

Submariner said...

"I'm going down, down, down; into the fire..."

Thankfully, Johnny quickly rejected the MTV music video concept and the world was spared.

AM42 said...

"Whew... I'm exhausted! But the climb up these stairs, just to spit in Michael Moore's daily milkshake, was definitely worth it."

Submariner said...

Y'know, visiting 'the Donald' in his ivory towers is a heckova lot more enjoyable when he's getting good ratings...

Submariner said...

And you know why? 'Cause deep down inside, you WANT me on that wall...