Friday, November 04, 2005

Inter-Racial Port-a-Potty Humor

1. Tyrone's huge ego made it impossible for him to leave a restroom without bragging "I massively stunk up the place in there."

2. "Jeepers, Tyrone, your uniform was spotless when you went in there. What the Hell happened?"

3. "Don't go in there, Mayonnaise. Some George Michael guy was in there and said he wanted my sex, so I jammed his head into the toilet bowl and gave him the mother of all swirlies. He didn't think that was 'Too Funky.'"

4. "So, that's what made all those white girls scream."

5. "I tried to use the other one, but there's some weird English guy in there with a chick and a robot dog."

6. "Cracker? No thanks, I just ate."

7. (1972) "Thanks for getting me out of that Algebra quiz Orenthal. If there's ever anything, and I mean anything I can do to pay you back, you just call."

8. "Sorry, Tyrone, I just don't have a square to spare."

9. "Tyrone, the team asked me to talk to you about your bulimia."

10. "False Alarm Tyrone. It was just an ambulance. Can you get our stash back or is too late?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Phew! Your turn, man... Be careful in there, that Maureen Dowd is a little too liberal with the teeth if ya know what I mean..."

Hollywood Trivia: Brian's Song was originally scripted about a player with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

"Hey Tyrone, just kidding, I have my keys right here... OMG, you DIDN'T!"

"Yeah, let 'em show what I just left in there on the Jumbo-tron!"

Best of Submariner
Ain't it a bitch that this is the best home you can get for $750K here in San Francisco?

Whoooaaa, Shaquille! Looks like you aren't "the Master of Your Domain" anymore!

Son Of The Godfather inspired
"Yeah, Okay, Rosa Parks, you made your point. Not, just get your ass out of the loo so the rest of us get a chance."

Once again.

29 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Phew! Your turn, man... Be careful in there, that Maureen Dowd is a little too liberal with the teeth if ya know what I mean..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

It was actually the rapper's incontinence that earned him his name. He'd have to unexpectedly use the pay-toilets and would go around to all the other players, "Hey man, you got fitty cent? Come on, man, gimme fitty cent, quick!""

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hollywood Trivia:
Brian's Song was originally scripted about a player with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey Tyrone, just kidding, I have my keys right here... OMG, you DIDN'T!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yeah, let 'em show what I just left in there on the Jumbo-tron!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I realize we're a last-place team, but jeeez looeeez, can't they get us a better locker room?"

Submariner said...

Inspired by SOTG's #3

"I loves Brian's piccolo..."

Submariner said...

The Jaguars experienced a wide variety of difficulties due to lowered budget after a few rough seasons...

Submariners said...

We let the dawgs out!

Woof! Woof - woof...

Submariner said...

Y'know Ruf, the grass here sure is greener than out on the field...

Submariner said...

Pretty damn smart hanging them over the freeway like that. But I still don't like the updraft...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm SO embarrased... I walked into the woman's facilities!"

(mornin' sub!)

Submariner said...

Steinbrenner wiped me. Who's staffing yours?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, was there a web-cam in yours?"

Submariner said...

Whoooaaa, Shaquille! Looks like you aren't "the Master of Your Domain" anymore!

Submariner said...

Ain't it a bitch that this is the best home you can get for $750K here in San Francisco?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"No Kevin! And don't give me any of that Rosa Parks argument either. She did NOT make a stand just to give you and I the right to use the same stall... at the same time."

Submariner said...

I hate these Japanese efficiencies for the Kickoff Classic...

(mornin SOTG; "woman's facilities" heh!)

Submariner said...

So THAT'S what you guys mean by a "Red Dog Blitz?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Seriously dude... Never buy sushi off a lunch-truck."

Submariner said...

Hey, Rufus. I know coach was staring at your crotch in the gym, but really! Did you have to stuff him in that hole?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm just sayin'... We all do the same thing... go in here and do our business... then back to the game, where we all handle the same ball. Did YOU see any sink in there? Did YOU see any soap and water?... I'm just sayin'"

(Poppi was sloppy? :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Appropriate Blazing Saddle Quotes:

[Bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death]
Charlie: "They said you was hung."
Bart: "And they was right."

and

Bart: "Excuse me while I whip this out. "
[Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls out paper]
Crowd: "Ahhhhh."

and

Jim: "Oh boys, lookee what I got heyuh."
Bart: "Hey, where the white women at."

Submariner said...

DAMN, Tyrone! That was supposed to be Friday night LIGHTs!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Name the movie, win a kewpie doll:

"Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here. Any man don't keep order spends a night in..."
Luke: "...the box."

Or

Dragline: "Why you got to go and say fifty eggs for? Why not thirty-five or thirty-nine?"
Luke: "I thought it was a nice round number."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Little 'FYI', Kevin. It goes much smoother in there if you remember to remove your cup."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"That just ain't right... Their offensive lineman has a naked picture of Helen Thomas taped to the top of his helmet. There's gotta be rules, man!"

Submariner said...

SOTG - Cool Hand Luke - I've been playing with the "eggs" scene too. You beat me to the ref.

Submariner said...

Ho-ly sh*t, Tyrone. I never new anyone before that bought the optional Orgasmatron! Can I try it next time I got to go?