1. "Oh, look everyone! Lucas is Jewish!"
2. Even though he had no interest in sports, Lucas's brother Brucie was also known as a wide receiver and frequently assumed the same position.
3. Lucas was not known for post-touchdown showboating, but did appreciate a good, stern spanking.
4. "I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!"
5. "... M... C.. A...! It's fun to stay at the..."
6. "Oh, yeah, I am totally pulling his finger!"
7. What you're thinking. "Make a wish!" What Andrew Sullivan is thinking. "This is my wish."
8. "Hey, looks like we beat the spread. Speaking of beatings and spreads, what are you doing later, Homes?"
9. "OK, Lucas, on the next play, you confuse the receiver by breakdancing. OK On three!"
10. Moments later, the unmistabkle outline of a gerbil appeared in Lucas's spandex.
Divine Miss M thought I could do an all Andrew Sullivan set on this picture, but... n-a-a-a-a-a-h.