Today is the anniversary of the founding of the USMC
1. "Now, worm, Mistress Fatima commands you to lick them clean!."
2. "Sergeant, do you think it was a good idea to assign this job to Private Sullivan? After all, he is a pedophile with a foot fetish and an obsession with Japanese anime."
3. "Fatima, was it worth beating the crap out of that kid just for his Air Jordans?"
4. "All right, you can wear them. But stay the hell away from Serial Mom."
5. "New shoes! A pretty doll! I feel like Angelina Jolie. Well, that, and I make out with my brother."
6. "Now, you're my slave, soldier boy. Bet you're sorry now, Mr. 'The Eagles will go all the way this year.'"
7. "Thanks for the shoes, I guess. But I really miss that Italian unit. Man, did those guys know how to accessorize."
8. "I appreciate this, really I do, but I am compelled to point out that the left shoe goes on the foot that's to my left, not your left."
9. "Thanks. How is Private Bundy doing with my big, fat sister?"
10. "You know, I'm really not the athletic type. Got anything in leather with thigh-high laces and stiletto heels?"
Best o' Tomslick
I'm done with this cinderella role playing Joe, where's my ten bucks?
Best o'occasional reader
"They're free?! You mean I *don't* have to give you any sexual favors in return?!! Oh, that's right... you're USMC, not UN."
Best o'Son Of The Godfather
"You can't handle the youth!"