Monday, November 14, 2005

Deerly Beloved

1. Animal Planet only puts on the good stuff after midnight.

2. Bambi's mom loses a Purity Point.

3. "Wow! This is the best Plushie convention ever!"

4. "Doe/A deer/Who takes it from the rear/Ray/A kinky six-point buck..."

5. "Ned, I know you're new to this taxidermy thing, but when a customer asks you to mount some deer..."

6. As Kyle lined up his shot, he did feel a pang of guilt that maybe lacing the salt lick with Vi@gr@ just took the sport out of it.

7. "Cut! Cut!... Bambi, the line is 'You like it hard, don't you, bitch!' Now, try it again. Thumper, go in there and fluff The Yearling and let's try and get this in the can."

8. Ummmm ... Hike?

9. "You know what comes from Texas, boy? Steers, deers, and queers... sometimes all in the same photo."

35 comments:

Submariner said...

The San Francisco "Deers" never really caught on with the rest of the NHL.

Submariner said...

Proposition Q: Shall San Francisco schools outlaw military recruitment and all other traditionl manly events, replacing them with group stag sex parties?

__ Yes
__ No

Submariner said...

Bill Cosby was not amused when the NAACP tried to villify him by illustrating his fondly-remember childhood game of "Buck-Buck."

Submariner said...

No, Bart. I said we'd play "Duck, Duck, Goose..."

Submariner said...

Well... 1 in the hand is better'n 2 in the bush. But I guess 3 stuck together in the brush is best!

Son Of The Godfather said...

F*ckin' Bucks!

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan's reincarnation fantasy.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Queer Deer!

Submariner said...

Unlike Tampa Bay, these Buck's can play both ways AND score.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh great," Rudolph thought, "I try to push Donner out of the fire with Blitzen, overcome by smoke, on my back, and this is the picture they print?"

Submariner said...

That one in back must be a postman, daddy; mommy always says he's an "impatient, horny b*st*rd!"

Submariner said...

Santa chuckled to himself, "Reindeer games" indeed!

AM42 said...

NJ Governor, Jon Corzine, illustrates his new property tax proposal.

AM42 said...

Well, it's no wonder there's so f*cking many of those damn deer in these parts!

Rufus Leaking said...

The Buck stops here!

Submariner said...

Okay Mr. Hand, which of these represents Ellen Degeneres, which is Rosie O'Donell and which is Andrew Sullivan?

That's right! Andrew is a pure receiver, Ellen wants it both ways and Rosie is the butch. Gold Star!

Chip said...

Hank was sorely disappointed when his "Bambi's Three Way" DVD finally arrived. After viewing it several times and liking it his disappointment turned to shame.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Doe-pile on Dasher!"

Submariner said...

Similar to the Tivo spike over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction," this picture in Exit Laughing resulted in a new Field and Stream record for November sales.

catbat said...

well, that's a bit... atypical...

catbat said...

in the deer porn industry, all they care about is if you have a huge rack. i guess deers aren't all that different from us after all!

Submariner said...

The Supreme Court announces yet another over-turning of the child pornography protection laws.

catbat said...

the DNR wants to be sure the one in the middle got himself a buck and a doe tag this season.

catbat said...

the DNR is also interested as to why nobody in the picture's wearing blaze orange - which is required while bagging deer.

catbat said...

tired of being in a rut, bambi wanted to experiment this year.

[rut? get it? atypical? 'cause his antlers...]

[...]

Divine Miss M said...

After accidently stumbling upon this photo, Woody Allen required 15 more years of psychiatric analysis.

Submariner said...

New ad campaign:

Hunting in Massachusetts is great!
Wish you were deer.

ColoradoPatriot said...

Venison sandwich

ColoradoPatriot said...

Believe me, the last thing you want is a reach-around from someone with cloven hooves.

ColoradoPatriot said...

In the Wild, without opposable thumbs, the lambskin condoms proved impossible to open for the deer, leading them to practice unsafe barebuck sex.

ColoradoPatriot said...

New kids' book: Bambi Has Two Daddies...Two Very Sick Daddies

Van Helsing said...

Andrew Sullivan produces Wild Kingdom.

Submariner said...

Marlon Perkins - "Here in the bush, travel plans frequently get screwed up royally by the locals. That's why Mutual of Omaha invented Prevention of Kafkaesque Event Disruption - or POKED - Insurance..."

Anonymous said...

Looking out over the deer frolicking in Marin County, tourists seriously began to wonder if it was something in the water supply in the Bay Area.

Kevin Walker said...

"By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusettes..."