1. As Bush reassures the press that there is no illegal immigration problem, la migra flushes an entire mariachi band out of the White House basement.
2. ORA* "Don't these guys kind of sound like Depeche Mode? I don't wanna sound queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band."
3. George Bush gets back at Linda Ronstadt by stealing her back-up band and putting them to work in the White House kitchen.
4. "Wow, check out the humugous piles of weed. Someone call Bar and tell her I won't make dinner."
5. "To reduce the deficit, I've replaced my cabinet with some people I picked up in front of Home Depot who'll work for next to nothing."
6. Due to his butchered syntax, the organizers weren't sure whether Bush wanted "Marijuana" or "Mariachi" on the stage, so they brought both.
7. Mi Puta del Pirata apesta... y todo el mundo lo sabe...
8. Que es mas macho... mariachi, or marijuana?
9. "Well, since I have no intention of enforcing the borders, I figured y'all should just get used to hearing 'Hail to the Chief' in Mariachi."
10. "I know it's their standard concert behavior, but could somebody get Barb and Jenna out of the cages and get some clothes on them."
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Heh-heh! Halloween was darned near a month ago, Pedro! Heh-heh! You'll learn these tricky American customs yet! (screaming into the distance)Come back, Pedro! I didn't mean that 'customs'!"
Best of Submariner
Damn PR campaign was genius. I'd like to introduce you to the new President of the US - Pedro!
Is LT Frank Drebben in the audience?
Yes, Helen. It was this long, but that's what you get for eating at Chi Chi's and powering back too many Metaxa's.
Best of AlphaMu42
du-dah dudududu dum "Tequila!"
* Obscure Reference Advisory.