Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Dee-Dee-Dee

1. As Bush reassures the press that there is no illegal immigration problem, la migra flushes an entire mariachi band out of the White House basement.

2. ORA* "Don't these guys kind of sound like Depeche Mode? I don't wanna sound queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band."

3. George Bush gets back at Linda Ronstadt by stealing her back-up band and putting them to work in the White House kitchen.

4. "Wow, check out the humugous piles of weed. Someone call Bar and tell her I won't make dinner."

5. "To reduce the deficit, I've replaced my cabinet with some people I picked up in front of Home Depot who'll work for next to nothing."

6. Due to his butchered syntax, the organizers weren't sure whether Bush wanted "Marijuana" or "Mariachi" on the stage, so they brought both.

7. Mi Puta del Pirata apesta... y todo el mundo lo sabe...

8. Que es mas macho... mariachi, or marijuana?

9. "Well, since I have no intention of enforcing the borders, I figured y'all should just get used to hearing 'Hail to the Chief' in Mariachi."

10. "I know it's their standard concert behavior, but could somebody get Barb and Jenna out of the cages and get some clothes on them."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Heh-heh! Halloween was darned near a month ago, Pedro! Heh-heh! You'll learn these tricky American customs yet! (screaming into the distance)Come back, Pedro! I didn't mean that 'customs'!"

Best of Submariner
Damn PR campaign was genius. I'd like to introduce you to the new President of the US - Pedro!

Is LT Frank Drebben in the audience?

Yes, Helen. It was this long, but that's what you get for eating at Chi Chi's and powering back too many Metaxa's.

Best of AlphaMu42
du-dah dudududu dum "Tequila!"

* Obscure Reference Advisory.

19 comments:

Submariner said...

Damn PR campaign was genius. I'd like to introduce you to the new President of the US - Pedro!

Submariner said...

No, seriously. They aren't illegals.
Vincente sent 'em over to teach the Army band how to play Feliz Navidad for the holidays...

Submariner said...

Test; 1 - 2 - 3

Is LT Frank Drebben in the audience?

Submariner said...

T'ank you boys. Bobby and Cissy will now entertain you with their sparkling rendition of "the Hat Dance."

Submariner said...

Here in the Magic Kingdom, we pride ourselves on welcoming ALL kinds of people, but there ARE accepted limits of public decency to obey...

Can I please get security over here to escort Kennedy, Moore, Reid and Pelosi to the gate?

Submariner said...

And the ever applicable:

Hey Kobe - Over here in the group of smelly pirate hookers; I'm open!

Submariner said...

Yes, Helen. It was this long, but that's what you get for eating at Chi Chi's and powering back too many Metaxa's.

Jonathan said...

"Heh-heh! Halloween was darned near a month ago, Pedro! Heh-heh! You'll learn these tricky American customs yet!

(screaming into the distance)

Come back, Pedro! I didn't mean that 'customs'!"

Submariner said...

De plane, Karl! De plane!

Submariner said...

ORA

I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

AM42 said...

du-dah dudududu dum "Tequila!"

occasional reader said...

Bush: "I'm here to present a plethora of trade and aid proposals for Latin America."

Mariachi: "Jefe, what is a 'plethora'?"

occasional reader said...

"... and in conclusion, I'd like to deliver a special message to Condi Rice, with the help of my mariachi friends:

Ay ay ay
Ay mi amor
Ay mi morena
de mi corazon

occasional reader said...

(ORA)

"Ramera... cabrona... ramera... cabrona..."

Van Helsing said...

Worried that leaving the Mexican border undefended was not resulting in sufficient support from Hispanics, and under pressure to shake up his cabinet, President Bush found a way to kill two birds with one stone. His new cabinet will also augment his policy speeches by providing musical accompaniment.

Submariner said...

(whispers over shoulder) One more time, just like we practised:

(into mics) "I beg your pardon, but Helen this is MY Rose Garden!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Inspired by occ reader's Three Amigos ref:
Lucky Day: "Wherever there is injustice, you will find us."
Ned Nederlander: "Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there."
Dusty Bottoms: "Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find..."
All: "The Three Amigos!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

President Bush sends a subliminal nod to Vincente Fox over his tussle with Hugo Chavez.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The President fires back at critics of Gitmo through the art of Mariachi!: "Guantanamera! Guajira!
Guantanamera!"