Friday, November 04, 2005

Boris Yeltsin's Dance Party

1. "Natasha! Is not time to be dancing! We should be causing big trouble for moose and squirrel."

2. "I can't wait to see the look on this girlie when we get home and I introduce her to 'Vlad the Impaler.'"

3. "I can't wait to see the look on this old geezer's face when we get home and he finds out I'm a dude."

4. "Bojemoi! Her roophies were supposed to kick in before my Vi@gr@."

5. And now, the Bolshoi Ballet Presents,'Dance of the Drunk and the Skank.'

6. Next on 'People Dance Like What They Look Like,' Boris Yeltsin does the 'Mashed Potato' while Britney Spears dances the 'White Trash Whore.'

7. "Great outfit! Is that a 'Harriet Miers' original?"

8. Just tell grandma you missed your dinner date because you were cruising for sluts with Boris Yeltsin. She'll understand.

9. "I have better idea. How about I dance on your lap!"

10. Boris Yeltsin: Master of the Mosh Pit.

AlphaMu42 said
"It's fun to stay at the Y - M - C - A ..."

Best of Divine Miss M
The Yeltsin family knows it's time to hide the rest of the vodka at family gatherings when Comrade Boris starts dropping trou.

Best of Yakov Occasional Reader
From "Cheers: The Lost Episodes" (now available on DVD)... When a drunken Russian politician threatens to nuke Sam's bar, Dianne manages to instead lure him away for some détente at a charity Dance-O-Thon. Hilarity ensues!

Inspired by Yakov Bubbalove
"Out from his coffin, Lenin's voice did ring./Seems he was troubled by just one thing./He opened the lid and shook his fist, and said,/"What ever happened to the Trotsky Twist?"/It's now the Mash/It's now the Moscow Mash..."

WALSTIB said
Q. How to tell if you should take his keys away?
A. When he starts giving himself a wedgie!

Best of Yakov Cybrludite
In Soviet Russia, Time Warp does you.

Best of Yakov Submariner Foxworthy
You know you make me want to YELLtzin.../Pull your hands up and YELLtzin...

If KGB arrests everyone in family BUT you...You might be Red neck!

Tonight on E! Failed 2nd career moves for out-of-work politicians: Boris Yeltzin, wedding singer.

Best of Yakov Son Of The Godfather
"Sometime, when Boris nervous, put thumbs in fists like this... Then stick in armpits and smell like this..."

"In old Soviet Union, you no put on tie... KGB put tie on YOU... Tank you, I have meelyon of them!"

Obscure Reference Only Divine Miss M Might Get
"Feefty watts per channel, babycakes!"

25 comments:

AM42 said...

"It's fun to stay at the Y - M - C - A ..."

Divine Miss M said...

"Comm on, come on, dooo....da Locomo-chun vit' me! You gut to swingk your heeps now...come on baybee!"

Divine Miss M said...

The Yeltsin family knows it's time to hide the rest of the vodka at family gatherings when Comrade Boris starts dropping trou.

occasional reader said...

From "Cheers: The Lost Episodes" (now available on DVD)...

When a drunken Russian politician threatens to nuke Sam's bar, Dianne manages to instead lure him away for some détente at a charity Dance-O-Thon. Hilarity ensues!

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Ya tak p'yan, chto ya ne znayu gdye moi bryuki!"

Ed. note...as a young Russian linguist in training, this was ColoradoPatriot's very first sentence all on his own. Needless to say, his instructor was beaming.

Bubbalove said...

Here, Boris Yeltsin is seen spinning around in a vodka-fueled dance-a-thon giving new meaning to the term 'Bolshevic Revolution'.

or

What dance is it!?
'The Siberian Shake!'
'The Gulag A-Go-Go!'
'The Moscow Mash!'
No! It's the 'Trotsky Trot!'

WALSTIB said...

Q. How to tell if you should take his keys away?
A. When he starts giving himself a wedgie!

Cybrludite said...

Is just jump to left!
Und then step to right!
You put hands on hips!
Und bring knees in tight!
Is pelvic thrusts dot drive you insane!
Let us do Time Warp again!
Let us do Time Warp again!

Cybrludite said...

In Soviet Russian, Time Warp does you.

Submariner said...

Here we see a rare "let down your hair moment" when Boris was coaxed into doing his impression of Walter Brennan.

Submariner said...

Introducing the new, lean-mean-fighting machine Ted Kennedy after a 150 pound, Slim Fast induced weight loss.

Submariner said...

You know you make me want to YELLtzin...
Pull your hands up and YELLtzin...

Submariner said...

Soviet Public TV Telathon technique:

If you don't call in your rubles, comrade Boris will continue to do the chicken dance. We only need to hit our target to stop him and return you to Dukes of Hazard...

Submariner said...

Boris thought he was the only dad who had ever thought of pulling empty pockets out to show his daughter what he had left after her wedding.

Submariner said...

A short time after his big comedy finish, Boris pointed out the table down front that HADN'T laughed to a cadre of KGB goons...

Submariner said...

If KGB arrests everyone in family BUT you...

You might be Red neck!

Submariner said...

Tonight on E! Failed 2nd career moves for out-of-work politicians:

Boris Yeltzin, wedding singer.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lady (in Snagglepuss voice):
"Exit, stage left!"

(CP, Ya ne znayo "bryuki"... chto eta?)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Boris, Gavarytya pa "Dumbass"?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sometime, when Boris nervous, put thumbs in fists like this... Then stick in armpits and smell like this..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"In old Soviet Union, you no put on tie... KGB put tie on YOU... Tank you, I have meelyon of them!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

When I dance they call me, Macarena
And the boys they say that I´m buena
They all want me, they can´t have me
So they all come and dance beside me
Move with me, jam with me
And if your good I take you home with me

Jonathan said...

"Get out ya seat an jump around...
Jump around...
Jump around...
Jump up, jump up, and get down!
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!"

Cybrludite said...

Когда я танцую они вызывают меня, Macarena.
И мальчики они говорят что я буду buena.

Nah. doesn't have quite the same ring to it...

ColoradoPatriot said...

SOTG:
"bryuki" = "pants"

ha ha...which ought to intrigue those who don't speak Russian, huh?