Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Aieeeeee! Toilet Snake!

1. "Damn, boy, what did you eat!"

2. Steve Irwin remakes Trainspotting.

3. Mary Matalin knocks on the door, "Jim, are you done in there yet?"

4. George Michael sniffed. "I've had worse."

5. Page 16 of the new coffee table book, 101 Things I'd Rather Sleep With Than Jennifer Aniston, by Brad Pitt.

6. "Well, that explains what happened to the cat."

7. After a while, the gerbils just weren't doing it any more, but how to dispose of the rest of them? Then, Richard Gere hit on a solution to both issues.

8. "Hi, Eve. Can we talk?"

9. "Almost got it. Can you hand me the 3/8" wrench?"

10. Oh, yeah, it is definitely time to clean the bowl!

From Ananova via Ace o' Spades HQ

20 comments:

Divine Miss M said...

At first we hoped she'd just share the cat's litterbox, but that proved to be a bad idea.

AM42 said...

Bob's feeble attempt to unplug his toilet by snaking the sewer line is yet another example of why some tasks should be left to a professional plumber.

jeff said...

Dagnabit! I was perfectly okay with the 'gators in the sewers, but this is just going too far!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tapeworms: no fun at all.

(off with wifey to get shoes... ugh... back with my lame-ass caps tonight!;)

Van Helsing said...

Snake eggs are tasty, but be sure they are well cooked before you eat them.

AM42 said...

*snake straining*
"Damn! I just knew that zebra I swallowed last week would come back to haunt me."

AM42 said...

The factory foreman noticed that ever since they installed snakes in all the toilets, there's been a significant reduction in employee restroom breaks.

AM42 said...

"You know, Bob... when most guys say that they have to 'go drain the python' they're just speaking euphemistically."

Divine Miss M said...

"Whoa, duuude, you think this is scary, you should see what's in the shower!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Dude! You're one dead snake, my wife 'bout strung me up the last time I left the seat up."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Response to Rodney Dill (above):
Homer Simpson: "It's funny because it's true."

Son Of The Godfather said...

How myths get started:
"Swear ta' God, Dave... I snuck a peak at the black guy in the next stall and the dude had a python down there!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Old School ref:
Beanie Boy: "Yo Cecil, how 'bout a courtesy flush!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tidey Bowl man must have had a massive coronary.

Cybrludite said...

Ok, last time I go take a **** while tripping on acid!

AM42 said...

Bad: Having to use the disgustingly filthy crapper in Home Depot.

Worse: Getting glued to the seat in the disgustingly filthy crapper in Home Depot.

OMG: Waiting for someone to come to rescue your stuck ass from the crapper... and that thing popping it's head up from below.

catbat said...

this will likely not improve your aim, guys.

malikrik said...

I only came in for a "snake's hiss"(Cokney rhyming slang)

Submariner said...

The REAL reason that Rufus came bolting out of that port-a-potty at full speed!

Submariner said...

"Who does #2 work for? Who does #2 work for? Who DOES #2 WORK for?"

"Give that turd hell, buddy. Show it who's boss!"