1. "Damn, boy, what did you eat!"2. Steve Irwin remakes Trainspotting.
3. Mary Matalin knocks on the door, "Jim, are you done in there yet?"
4. George Michael sniffed. "I've had worse."
5. Page 16 of the new coffee table book, 101 Things I'd Rather Sleep With Than Jennifer Aniston, by Brad Pitt.
6. "Well, that explains what happened to the cat."
7. After a while, the gerbils just weren't doing it any more, but how to dispose of the rest of them? Then, Richard Gere hit on a solution to both issues.
8. "Hi, Eve. Can we talk?"
9. "Almost got it. Can you hand me the 3/8" wrench?"
10. Oh, yeah, it is definitely time to clean the bowl!
From Ananova via Ace o' Spades HQ
20 comments:
At first we hoped she'd just share the cat's litterbox, but that proved to be a bad idea.
Bob's feeble attempt to unplug his toilet by snaking the sewer line is yet another example of why some tasks should be left to a professional plumber.
Dagnabit! I was perfectly okay with the 'gators in the sewers, but this is just going too far!
Tapeworms: no fun at all.
(off with wifey to get shoes... ugh... back with my lame-ass caps tonight!;)
Snake eggs are tasty, but be sure they are well cooked before you eat them.
*snake straining*
"Damn! I just knew that zebra I swallowed last week would come back to haunt me."
The factory foreman noticed that ever since they installed snakes in all the toilets, there's been a significant reduction in employee restroom breaks.
"You know, Bob... when most guys say that they have to 'go drain the python' they're just speaking euphemistically."
"Whoa, duuude, you think this is scary, you should see what's in the shower!"
"Dude! You're one dead snake, my wife 'bout strung me up the last time I left the seat up."
Response to Rodney Dill (above):
Homer Simpson: "It's funny because it's true."
How myths get started:
"Swear ta' God, Dave... I snuck a peak at the black guy in the next stall and the dude had a python down there!"
Old School ref:
Beanie Boy: "Yo Cecil, how 'bout a courtesy flush!"
Tidey Bowl man must have had a massive coronary.
Ok, last time I go take a **** while tripping on acid!
Bad: Having to use the disgustingly filthy crapper in Home Depot.
Worse: Getting glued to the seat in the disgustingly filthy crapper in Home Depot.
OMG: Waiting for someone to come to rescue your stuck ass from the crapper... and that thing popping it's head up from below.
this will likely not improve your aim, guys.
I only came in for a "snake's hiss"(Cokney rhyming slang)
The REAL reason that Rufus came bolting out of that port-a-potty at full speed!
"Who does #2 work for? Who does #2 work for? Who DOES #2 WORK for?"
"Give that turd hell, buddy. Show it who's boss!"
Post a Comment