1. "Damn, boy, what did you eat!"
2. Steve Irwin remakes Trainspotting.
3. Mary Matalin knocks on the door, "Jim, are you done in there yet?"
4. George Michael sniffed. "I've had worse."
5. Page 16 of the new coffee table book, 101 Things I'd Rather Sleep With Than Jennifer Aniston, by Brad Pitt.
6. "Well, that explains what happened to the cat."
7. After a while, the gerbils just weren't doing it any more, but how to dispose of the rest of them? Then, Richard Gere hit on a solution to both issues.
8. "Hi, Eve. Can we talk?"
9. "Almost got it. Can you hand me the 3/8" wrench?"
10. Oh, yeah, it is definitely time to clean the bowl!
From Ananova via Ace o' Spades HQ