Thursday, November 03, 2005

1975 --- Swine Flu. 2005 --- Bird Flu

1. "Richard Gere, you magnificent bastard!"

2. CSI: Toontown gathers evidence against infamous child molester Foghorn Leghorn.

3. "OK, now take off your mask and bite its head off. Practice will make it easier when you do it on a real chicken."

4. "Heh-Heh-Heh. Heh-heh-heh. We're like... looking at a chick's balls. Uh-heh-heh-heh."

5. "No mon, the sacrifice got to be a real rooster or the loa, he no come."

6. "Mr. Sulu! Stop playing with your cock and report to the bridge!"

7. Since silicone implants were outlawed, doctors now make do with whatever they can find around the house.

8. "Still won't talk, huh? Well, I can think of one little detainee who's got a date with 11 herbs and spices."

9. "Thanks Kobe, Now, I'll go for the lay up."

10. "Looks like Big Bird is gonna be paying child support to another Sesame Street intern."

Best of Submariner
John F'n Kerry stages another costumed stunt for the cameras.

And now, well in time to gear up production for the Easter rush, "Super Peeps." We'll make a killing off Mike al'Moore alone!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Janey would give the stuffed animal to co-workers and then promptly take it back. She became known as a real cock-tease.

"Mr. Chicken, the operation was a success... we have removed your left testicle due to it's unusually pungent odor. It was indeed, a fowl ball."

They usually ruin it with the sequel:
Successful: March of the Penguins
Unsuccessful: November of the Chickens

Inspired by Occasional Reader
Bay-area "plushy" fetishists join with Bay-area medical garb fetishists to push the envelope to a whole new horizon of "weird".

Nothing Changes But the Hype. It's Renna's fault.

43 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lab guys always get the chicks.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"They may seem harmless, but the little bastards can piss up to 5 feet... That's why we wear the mask and goggles."

Submariner said...

John F'n Kerry stages another costumed stunt for the cameras.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Earl, what exactly does it mean to you when I ask you to hand me the 'beaker'?"

Submariner said...

Senator Kennedy? We're ready to give you your enema now...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We keep asking it what it thinks about Reid's closed hearing stunt the other day, but all it keeps saying is 'cheap! cheap!'"

Submariner said...

Damn! It always amazes me to see what that fat kid with the orange hair manages to swallow!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Billy, can you show us where Ms. Pelosi touched you on this doll here?"

Submariner said...

Morning SOTG - "cheap! cheap!'" - classic!

Submariner said...

From the stains, I'd say that Bill got to her before Hillary.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You think pecking my arm is funny, you son of a b*tch?... Say hello to your new home, the deep fryer, you oversized McNugget!"

(mornin' sub!)

Submariner said...

And now, well in time to gear up production for the Easter rush, "Super Peeps." We'll make a killing off Mike al'Moore alone!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Wow, I didn't know they made Michael Moore sized marshmallow Peeps!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damn, ya beat me sub! HA HA

Submariner said...

Despite his superior intellect, young Al Einstein never really understood other young men's preoccupation with "chicks."

Submariner said...

Ya gotta get up pretty early, and I DO.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm aware of the new OSHA regulations, but don't you think mask, goggles, and enviro-suits are a little much for a 'Baby Chickadee' assembly line?"

(sub, early bird gets the... Oh, never mind. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, ya learn somethin' new everyday... Chickens DO have bungholes!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Looks like after retirement, Tweety Bird's been packing it on faster than Sally Struthers.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Customs officials were tipped off by the name of the first toy export from North Korea... Anthrax-Chick-Chick just didn't sound right for some reason.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"It seems to be a tag with something written on it... It says 'Super Secret message hidden inside' and it's signed 'Covert agent, Valerie Plame'."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Reports started pouring in about baby chickens from the south-eastern United States gorging themselves to death...

...Yes, we can now safely assume it was overeating and sheer stupidity that killed the Dixie chicks.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obscure ref, do ya know it?:
Henry Spencer: "So I just, uh... I just cut them up like regular chickens?"
Mr. X: "Sure, just cut them up like regular chickens."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Janey would give the stuffed animal to co-workers and then promptly take it back. She became known as a real cock-tease.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Bill, you really know your stuff!... Seeing you do your job is like watching poultry in motion."

(shaddup, it had to be done. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mutant chickens can never be allowed in the public domain... I mean, I have a cat at home... Can you imagine such a large cock terrorizing a poor pussy like that?

JDA (Juvenile Delinquents Anonymous)
SOTG: "My name is SOTG, and I'm a juvenile delinquent."
All: "Hi SOTG!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Secret No More:
Authorities rescued approximately 17,000 chicks from the headquarters of Kentucky Fried Chicken last night. Apparently, the Colonel's cruel "secret recipe" includes blasting Christina Aguilera music into the pens and adjusting the thermostat up and down 2 degrees.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Mr. Chicken, the operation was a success... we have removed your left testicle due to it's unusually pungent odor. It was indeed, a fowl ball."

(don't you DARE 'ugh' me! :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Once they ran it past the "Global Test", the new symbol for the DNC would be ready for release.

Son Of The Godfather said...

So you thought only hillbilly's were subject to that alien abduction / anal probe thing?

Son Of The Godfather said...

They usually ruin it with the sequel:
Successful: March of the Penguins
Unsuccessful: November of the Chickens

Son Of The Godfather said...

After extensive research, it was concluded that the white stuff in chickensh*t... Well, that's chickensh*t too.

Submariner said...

Barry Bonds was noticed dumping a substance into the poultry feed during the raid for illegal substances. Shortly afterwards, his chickens started noticably "beefing up."

Submariner said...

No, Sen Gephardt, I don't think this would qualify as a "Chicks with Dicks" video...

Submariner said...

On the next episode, Dr. Bashear's holodeck simulation for breast augmentation on a blonde chick goes terribly wrong...

Submariner said...

OK, Mort. If skin is as easy to sew as felt, we should be able to reattach Mr. Bobbitt's, er, um, 'bobbed it' without many problems.

Submariner said...

I'm sorry Sen. Lugar, but that's NOT a "cash cow..."

Bubbalove said...

Smuggled photos reveal the results of money-hungry Pamela Andersons' secret deal with KFC to be artificially inseminated with the Colonel's frozen sperm as a retribution to PETA!

Submariner said...

Putting it mildly, the DNC is somewhat surprised when Rosemary's baby, the hoped for "Great Democratic Hope for 2052" is delivered and actually still has a right wing...

Submariner said...

NOW I see; they aren't removing it, they're pushing it in!
(Someone really should explain to Hill that isn't how to get a breast implant...)

occasional reader said...

Here, Bay-area "plushy" fetishists push the envelope to whole new level of "weird".

Van Helsing said...

"Hmm.... the bow tie suggests male gender, yet I cannot seem to locate the genitalia..."

jeff said...

Wow SOTG, a Pure Country ref even...