Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Yo, Louis, Save Me a Seat on the Mothership
1. (More from UN Open Mike Night) "I hate the sunlight and I hate the night./I hate white people because they is white./ Their hair is wavy, their lips is thin/ But worse than white women, I hate white men./ Walking around with briefcase and money / Bust they head open, my ain't that funny? /Not out of anger and not out of spite. /I just hate whitey because they is white."
2. The sign behind him is absolutely right. Robert Mugabe is an Effin' A-hole.
3. "You too, can make a fortune in real estate, with no money down, using my patented system of armed thugs to drive people off their land."
4. "I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!!"
5. "... and we're supposed to believe that the Empire falls apart just because the Rebel Alliance blew up the second death star with another lucky shot? And Darth Vader turned to the Dark Side because he had a bad dream? What the Hell was Lucas thinking?" Robert Mugabe: dictator, thug, embittered sci-fi geek.
6. "You kids get outta my yard!"
7. "Restraining order? What the hell? After Al and Jesse, I thought Sheehan liked a slice off the rye loaf."
8. "No, Mr. Mugabe! Waving around will only make the bees angrier!"
9. "Fools! My thesis is flawless! The pyramids were built by The Dixie Chicks!"
10. "And I am furious at the way your government allowed Hurricane Katrina to make thousands homeless and impoverished. In my country, we use government thugs for that."
I blame: Van Hel-s-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-n-g
Best of Submariner
"Dammit, Kobe. I COMMAND you to throw it over here!"
Best of Colorado Patriot
The fire in Mugabe's eyes proved once and for all that he wasn't kidding when he told the crowd: "I loves me some food and agriculture!"