1. "Now serving ... Number 92. Number 92... Number 92?" 2. "Sorry, monsieur, this is Europe. The hookers are unionized, and you have to pay the same even if she did used to be a guy. It's all based on seniority."
3. Once again, I am compelled to point out that real-life prostitutes bear little resemblance to Julia Roberts.
4. The next group to use the conference room never did figure out why the flag smelled like tuna.
5. NATO's Elite SLUT UNIT has seen better days.
6. From the makers of "Pimpbot 3000," the "Slut Unit 3," rated two stars by the European Commission.
7. Her hair and face were normal before she plugged her Pleasure Vibe 3000 into one of those weird East European outlets.
8. Gary's mom was a constant source of embarrassment... always hitting on his friends and ranting on about the glories of free love and a common currency.
9. "Kobe, over here, I'm WIDE open."
10. Just a used-up whore dishonoring a flag, but enough about John Kerry...
11. One of the least popular 'rides' at Euro-Disney.
Best of Submariner
"Oui, oui... N'est-ce pas? Oh course I am zee 'smelly pirate hookaire.' And for a few francs more, I can be any-sing else monsieur desires?"
Best of ColoradoPatriot
Courtney Love Guest Stars on a very special Commander in Chief
Best of Divine Miss M
"Me love you long time. Long, long time. Decades, if you want."
From here, on a tip from three different people.
62 comments:
The Very Epitome Of Modern Europe: An old, used-up whore wrapping herself in a flag of faux modernity.
or
Geez! Madonna has really went to hell in a handbasket since moving to England!
or
Here, a prostitute performs a live demonstration of what applicant countries have to do to gain entry into the E.U.
"Oui, oui... Nest pas? Oh course I am zee 'smelly pirate hookaire.' And for a few francs more, I can be any-sing else monsieur desires?"
V,
You should be ashamed of yourself - #10 made me spew coffee all over my monitor!
Or perhaps DAMNED proud of yourself. Your choice, of course.
Speaking of John F'n Kerry channeling a different sort of Quagmire:
"Giggidy, giggidy; I'd do her."
Following Jim's encarceration, Tammy Faye fell on hard times, IF you know what I mean?
This is the latest move by the UN to curb sexual misconduct among its peacekeepers. Hookers for all!
Hell's Bells! If Geena Davis can be President of the US, why can't Courtney Love be Secretary General?
"Me love you long time. Long, long time. Decades, if you want."
Hillary scary Halloween costume -- universally mistaken for botched plastic surgery -- did absolutely nothing to warm anyone to her nationalized health care plan.
Only in France could this woman make a living as a prostitute. She's probably getting subsidized.
Andrew Sullivan dreamed he was King of Gobsmackistan in his Maidenform bra.
andthenblammo!
{begin best comments from Free Republic}
"Lotta hard miles on her odometer."
"She looks like 20 miles of bad road on the outside and I don't even want to think about the inside."
Re: France, EU, and prostitutes:
"Well, all three are whores."
"Oh, dear heavens. That can't be real. If it is, what do the customers look like."
"So, on a totally unrelated topic, what do you get if you cross Susan Estrich with Helen Thomas then cross the result with Nancy Pelosi?"
The ICRSE wants to end the criminalization of the sex industry
"Well, sex with *that* should remain criminal anyway."
"These demonic possessions seem to be getting more common."
"Allah bids you welcome."
"Now I know what they mean when they refer to someone as looking like they were 'beaten with an Ugly Stick'."
"There's a "sex workers" union of sorts, and it's clear that Camille has seniority."
"My Eyes, My EYES!!!!!!!"
--Al Bundy
"Dat, is one good reason to stay the hell outta France."
--Dice Clay
"She should have to pay her Johns, what a hideous skank."
"Paris Hilton in 5 years."
"After seeing the protest, the European Parliament reconsidered and thought outlawing prostitution was a good idea."
"BRAAAINS!!!"
Sex worker Camille Cabral...
...representing French prostitutes...
...poses next to a European Union flag...
"Three repulsive phrases -- hard to discern which is more repulsive."
"I have seen better looking women in the wreckage of automobiles at the scene of a head-on collision."
"There is not enough beer in the entire universe to make that look good."
"She's so ugly she went to the haunted house and they gave her a job application."
"If there was ever example of 'You get what you pay for'."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly like that goes to the bone."
"If this is what French men pay for, imagine what they get for free...
Yes, I'd surrender if I were French too."
"Eeeegads, imagine the stench wafting off of that hideous beast."
"See, this is a perfect example of unions resulting in shoddier work products."
I like this one... (remember these are all stolen from the Free Republic thread):
Liberal thought process before sex - yes I should be free and do this, but am I respecting her rights as a woman if I'm on top, no she should be on top and have the dominant position as part of an act of rebellion against the male heirarchy, but wait a second I'm exploiting her labour by having her do all the work so I should serve her by being on top or is it the other way around, and damn did I remember to put the 3rd condom on correctly to ensure that she doesn't get pregnant but it doesn't matter if she does because she can abort it anyway it's perfectly natural but I'm being a male chauvinist pig to even think that I should expect her to do that and damn I should call my shrink because I think I need another dose of Lithium....
Conservative thought process before sex: "let's roll."
"She is so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel..."
"so ugly they put her in the zoo to keep the monkeys from jerking off..."
"so ugly she tried joining an ugly contest, they said, 'Sorry, no professionals!'"
"..when God said "Let there be light" He reconsidered."
“...she scared Stevie Wonder away.”
“...her mama had to get drunk to breast-feed her.”
“So ugly when she was born her mom said ‘What a treasure!’ and her dad said ‘Yeah, lets bury it!’”
Backstage we're having the time
of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out of her gun
tried to blow me away
Dude look like a lady
This one seems like a classic Jack Handey:
“If I saw that wandering down the street, I'd try to give it massive head trauma since that what movies tell me to do in case of zombies.”
“Take one look at her and you know why the birth rate in France is dropping.”
“I have NEVER been that desperate in my life, ever.”
Well, sex with *that* should remain criminal anyway.
“It's probably covered by various State Laws regarding bestiality.”
”It is probably covered by various State Laws regarding bestiality.”
“Necrophilia, I would have thought. We now know who the Bride of the Crypt Keeper is.”
I liked this one:
French Prostitute: "Camille, you don't speak for me!!"
“Great googlymoogly...celibacy never looked so good...”
“Man, those French women are hot!”
“Ugh...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...”
“OMG. Someone please find and arrest the perp who mercilessly beat that poor woman senseless with an ugly stick.”
“Helen Thomas high school photo?”
“I can actually smell that picture.”
{End stolen captions from Free Republic}
Quagmire: “No way. Even I have my limits! OK, maybe at closing time. Giggiddy Giggiddy!”
I think we better cap the captions soon… Anybody really wanna see this he/she ho get to “69”? heh
When there's something wrong,
In your neighborhood,
Who ya gonna call?
Skank-busters!
"Right this way...my preeeeecioussss."
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