Thursday, October 20, 2005

Total Request Thursday Again

1. "Helen Thomas, the Ghost of Christmas Present, the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come and me all took a vote and decided we'd rather see you just burn in Hell."

2. Upstaged by Barney Frank once again, Andrew Sullivan had no choice but to stand in the corner and pout.

3. Carol Channing is the Angel of Death? I am only mildly surprised.

4. Disaster ensued when George mixed up the meeting times for his 'Cross-Dresser Support Group' and his 'Violent Homophobes with Severe Anger Management Issues Support Group.'

5. So, what exactly did Andrew say to warrant the 'Parental Advisory' sticker?

6. Harriet Miers's choice of outfit for the Senate hearings helped win Rick Santorum's vote and would have secured her confirmation if Hillary Clinton hadn't beaten her to death in a phone booth for wearing white after Labor Day.

7. "No, Dear, I am the Pocket Pool Fairy, and if you don't knock it off, I'm going to take those things away from you."

8. I had an obscure Touched By an Angel reference ready to go, but I figured it would be pointless.

9. Al Franken's "I'll dress like the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz and Sit in on Your Support Group" sale on eBay raised a record $15.00 for Air America.

10. Despite Ronald's passionate appeal, the Teamsters voted not to include a demand for employer-paid sex changes in their next contract negotiations.

Best of Colorado Patriot
"Nine months of night school and I end up filming Godspell in a community theater. ITT Tech can kiss my ass!"

Source: Portland Oregonian on a tip from Russ in Oregon


ColoradoPatriot said...

Do you notice in this picture, both the freakazoid angel-lady and the death-kill biker dude are trying to lean away from each other?

Thought-bubble, shared by both: "Get me away from this freak."

ColoradoPatriot said...

A patient couple await their turn at the back of the San Francisco Town Hall while Gavin Newsome works his way through another busy day of freaking out the entire Nation.

ColoradoPatriot said...

"I don't know, lady, what can you see?"
"Squat. I can't make anything out. Those guys dressed in the gigantic multi-colored condom costumes are in the way. I think it has something to do with prostitutes at the U.N. or something"

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Excuse me, sir. Yes, you in the sweater and collared shirt. Yes... My wife and I were wondering: Where'd you get that freak-ass get-up, anyway?"

ColoradoPatriot said...

Thought-bubble for guy with the camera: "Nine months of night school and I end up filming Godspell in a community theater. 'ITT Tech will move your career ahead', MY ASS!"

bubbalove said...

The battle between the Daily Kos kids and the Democratic Underground for the soul of the Democratic party led to a bizarre series of events at the summit meeting: The buttons shot off the shirt of the fat D.U. biker dude killing the man in front of him which caused the Kos kid Fairy Deathmother to reflexively crush her vial of anthrax and the neo-nazi infiltrator camera man to hastily trigger the dirty bomb hidden in his equipment. The survivors of each group then together formed R.A.L.B.O.D. or the Radioactive Anthrax-Laced Bringers Of Death!


Submariner said...

I dunno... The B'zer screamed something about worms and then scrammed out the door to THAT dimension... Have you seen my legs?

Submariner said...

Thought bubble - "Next time I see that conniving biyatch, I'm gonna tear her tits off for telling me this was a costume party..."

Submariner said...

"We are the world..."

Submariner said...

But, but, but, George Bush says he's a Christian!
Doesn't that mean he's supposed to LOVE angels?

Submariner said...

Elvis wannabe's thought bubble:
"I thought only dogs tipped their heads like that when they were listening; but then again, if the shoe fits..."