Thursday, October 13, 2005

Thursday Night Hot Chick

1. New to the 2006 Winter Olympics: Naked hide and seek.

2. "Yo! Bitch, this is my corner!"

3. Sled my ass. Rosebud was an easy piece with a nice rack Charles Foster Kane met on a ski weekend in Vail.

4. "Hey, baby, Aslan wants to know how much for a lap dance."

5. And the last words Michael Kennedy ever heard were, "Check out the rack on the blonde."

6. "No thanks, mister. With the Alpine Pleasure Vibe 6000, I don't need a man."

7. "No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter."

8. Most Obscure Reference Ever! "Even if it means I will be captured, tied up, dipped in oil, stripped, and forced to wrestle the Polar Hun Queen in 3-D, we must never surrender!"

9. "In my dream, I'm standing on a mountain, lithe and naked. Ride of the Valkyries plays in the background. Bill is reaching for me. I pull out an eighteenth century musket and plug him right between the eyes. I awake in the throes of climax, the bedsheets soaked in sweat." --- The Dream Diary of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

10. You're still reading the captions? What are you, some kind of faggot?

11. Cover art from Ann Coulter's New Book: I Want All Liberals to Freeze to Death in a Barren Wasteland.

Best of SOTG
12. "Brave warrior with the shark-fin helmet!... You are indeed a worthy opponent! Surrender to me now, and I will vow to treat you with honor. You will be taken back to the Lair of the Foxy Nekkid Snow-Elf Women where I and all my sisters will use you for breeding stock, and allow you to sit in front of the Box of Visions with a remote control and bag of Doritos for as long as you desire!"

"...kay." (drops spear)

13. Kanye Finhelmetwest: "George Bush doesn't care about voluptuous-naked-elf-temptress-warrior snow people!"

34 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

She appears to be chilly.
(Excellent Clockwork Orange tie-in, V, and #10 made me hang my head in shame ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Son of the Godfather's Ann Coulter dream is finally realized.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Now there's an Independent Party I can "get behind"!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Brave warrior with the shark-fin helmet!... You are indeed a worthy opponent! Surrender to me now, and I will vow to treat you with honor. You will be taken back to the Lair of the Foxy Nekid Snow-Elf Women where I and all my sisters will use you for breeding stock, and allow you to sit in front of the Box of Visions with a remote control and bag of Doritos for as long as you desire!"

"...kay." (drops spear)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Does this shield make me look fat?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"There she is! She's the one who ordered the attack on Smurfville!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

No fair... You think you have the advantage in battle, then she hypnotizes you with elf-booby, and "BONK!", she makes off with your Sleestak hat from the Land of the Lost convention.

Son Of The Godfather said...

V The K trumps SOTG on his #5 comment when SOTG was considering a Sonny Bono reference.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is it wrong to paste into Photoshop and nipple-zoom on a painting?... Oh, I know it is, I was just making sure.

Son Of The Godfather said...

What's that furry thing between her legs?... OHHHH, looks like a rabbit's foot or something... You filthy gutter-minds.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Least Experience / Most Enjoyable Dungeon and Dragon's Campaign:
"Siege of the Swedish Nymph Stronghold"

Submariner said...

"...standing on a mountain, lithe and..." (Hillary Clinton)

That ain't just a dream, V. the K., that's a full-blown, technicolor, big-screen, Cecille B. deMille-esque fantasy!

Submariner said...

For HER of course.

[shudders]

Submariner said...

Man! This chill make my nips stand up so hard I had to cut holes in my shield for them...

Son Of The Godfather said...

This was the original concept for "Survivor"... But somehow we ended up with that Richard Hatch character being the naked one. I'll take Fantasy TV over Reality TV any ol' day.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Gotta put in a Quagmire:
"Giggidy Giggidy... Oh Yeah!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Kanye Finhelmet: "George Bush doesn't care about voluptuos-naked-elf-temptress-warrior snow people!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obscure ref: "The Loc-nar is mine, bitch, give it to me!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I don't care about your 'empirical evidence' lady, George Bush's environmental policies are causing global warming!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Nice set o' snow-globes there.

Son Of The Godfather said...

With the new uniform, one hopes the elves have developed a decent UV skin protection.

V the K said...

Submariner --- I actually had a dream last night where I was in Condi Rice's office (which was really spare and cubicle like), when Bush called an emergency cabinet meeting because a plane was spreading a red cloud over New York and Boston. Bush seemed detached and lost interest when told the cloud appeared to non-toxic. Bill Clinton was there, too, but he was tiny, like a dwarf.

Weird, huh?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not such a bad place:
Vulcan in the Winter

Son Of The Godfather said...

V the K, analysis is in order:

Condi is your mother-figure, while the red cloud represents uncertainty. The manifestation of an apathetic George Bush is your inner psyche constantly debating the moonbattery we see about us every day. The miniature Bill Clinton represents those little, evil fuckers in Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark ("We want YOU, Sally!").

OR you ate beef jerky just before bedtime.

Son Of The Godfather said...

No one would have guessed that in her private gaming life, Harriet Miers was a 21st level nymphetic elf-warrior of love... Until it accidently slipped out during the comittee hearings.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ponderous Point:
In certain religious death cults, she'd be forced to wear a big, black potato sack over her entire body.

V the K said...

Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark

Is that out on DVD yet? That scared the crap out of me when I was a little kid.

Son Of The Godfather said...

V,
I might even have it (have to check when I get home)... but I believe they ARE doing a remake... Hope they don't f it up like usual... And it still makes me double check under my bed at night! lol

Submariner said...

V,

I may need to disagree with SOTG's analysis.

It kinda depends on what Condi was wearing: if it was that black outfit with the stormtrooper boots, swaying open to reveal a similar attire to the Nordish ice elf, I think we all know that meant you were watchin' "Late night" movies on Showtime... (and snacking on SlimJim's or jerky)

Giggidy, giggidy...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Submariner, I concur.
(That Skinemax will do it every time!)

ColoradoPatriot said...

"When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation..."

Submariner said...

So, is anyone else up for naked tobogganing?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damn you, coloradopatriot! I was just trying to figure out what danged commercial that was from! Nice!

Van Helsing said...

The guy might as well turn around and go back. I've got a feeling she's frigid.