1. "Ann Coulter naked on a cold day? Oh, yeah, break me off a piece of that!"
2. "Not bad, Colonel North, but those glutes could still use some more definition.
3. "It's only about yeah-big, but it's ill-tempered and got nasty sharp teeth. It escaped from a DARPA lab yesterday. Whatever you do, don't let it get near your balls."
4. As a Zen meditation technique, Rumsfeld and his top staff like to make cat's cradles with no string.
5. "Well, the Iraqis couldn't come up with a consensus leader. So, we gave it to the girl with the biggest tits."
6. "I can't believe those numbskulls at Walter Reed were gonna charge $3000 to reset my thumb. I fixed it up just fine with $3.29 worth of electrical tape."
7. "Kobe, over here! We're warming our hands over nice hot mugs of cocoa and we saved you some."
8. Rumsfeld: "We're bombing the insurgent positions at Hallal tomorrow at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar."
Reporter: "When will you be back?"
Rumsfeld: "I can't tell you that. It's classified."
10. "So, anyway, we're down in Tal Afar and all of a sudden these blue-eyed bastiches appear out of no where, led by a punk kid riding a giant sand-worm, and he says, 'My name is a killing word.' So, I cuffed the punk-kid upside the head and slapped him silly, and that's how I hurt my thumb."
Thanks --- Bubbalove