Sunday, October 23, 2005

Season of the Witch

1. "Sorry Mom, I was staring at that girl's ass and my cat's cradle kinda got away from me."

2. "Aren't we supposed to be having dinner with grandma tonight? Oh, it's okay, just tell her you were too busy getting high."

3. "This year, I'm collectin' for UNICEF, so when they get enough money, they can firebomb the Smurfs!"

4. "I saw the whole thing! Peter Parker injected the midget with his digestive fluids, and sucked away until nothing but the bones were left."

5. "Yeah, mom, I think it's great that we still can make use of sis's remains, but the Child Protective Services people may feel otherwise."

6. "Grissom is so gonna have your ass for mishandling the evidence, mom."

7. "Hey, isn't it kind of early for Senator Byrd to be wearing his ghost costume?"

8. "Don't be silly, Alex. If there ever were any ghosts in your room, the monsters in your closet would have eaten them a long time ago."

9. "Look, here's some more entrails. I love it when you lock a drifter in the cage with the pit bulls!"

10. "You know, fattening me up with donuts, Oreos, and Mountain Dew was just neglect, but then making me wear this shirt constitutes pure child cruelty."

Lawsuit Bait From: Ionia Sentinel-Standard

9 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Dammit, that fence is electrified! Someone get a two by four!

Son Of The Godfather said...

No one knew what the young Jeff Dahmer's childhood was like.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Monica Lewinsky enjoys Halloween with the fatherless Billy Jr.

Son Of The Godfather said...

NooooOOooooo, nobody's gonna tease a large kid with orange hair for dressing up like a nice, round pumpkin...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Eric's mom finally had to build a fence to keep him away from the Cheesy Poofs.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mrs. Lantern didn't feel as if she had tortured her son enough by naming him "Jack Orlando".

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Well, since the first kid has already wasted away, I'll just tie another one up right here next to him."

Van Helsing said...

"Mom, why do the ghost always smile like that while they're staring at your ass?"

Jonathan said...

"Orange web? So, THAT'S what happens when spiders get a hold of a bag of Pop Rocks!"