1. Condi graphically describes exactly how Senator Clinton had touched her, and then was asked to describe what she saw when Senator Clinton dropped her pants."
2. "And then, the French peacekeeper says, 'My sex-slave, I thought she was your sex slave!' They all look alike at that age, don't they, folks?" Open mike night at the U.N.
3. More from U.N. Open-Mike Night. "So, Kofi Annan read in the New York Times that 2 Brazilian peacekeepers were killed. So, he calls up John Bolton and asks, 'how many is a brazilian?' and Bolton says, 'That's about how much you skimmed off Oil for Food, Kofi Cup...'"
4. "Bring it on, biyatch. I'll rip that nappy-ass weave right off your head and shove it up your Florence Griffith Joyner ass. You hear me, Kofi?"
5. "I tell you the same thing I told Ted Kennedy, they are real, and they're spectacular!"
6. Condi was mid-way through a story about Rick James and Charlie Murphy eating pancakes with Prince before she realized was watching Chappelle's Show instead of the TelePrompter.
7. "And then I said, 'Well, Mr. Chirac, would these change your mind?'"
8. Nobody knew who she was, or she got in, but somehow she got a hold of the microphone and removed a pair of falsies while screaming, "Baba Booey! Baba Booey!"
9. "Now, Cheney wanted to call it the "Manziere,' but I was partial to, 'the bro.'"
10. You know, you can write all the breast captions you want, but the real issue is, why the Hell is she dressed like the bald chick in Star Trek: The Motion Picture?