Friday, October 28, 2005

People Unclear on the Concept

1. The LA Clippers unveiled their #1 draft pick today.

2. "He wasn't open, Kobe!"

3. "My new sport combines the low scores of soccer with the endless repetition of basketball. It's very popular in countries where assisted suicide is legal."

4. "Oh, come on, ref! Where I come from, spiking a guy in the jewels is a foul!"

5. "Well, coach, maybe I wouldn't drop the ball so much if you and your 'longtime companion' weren't always staring at my crotch."

6. "It's worse than you think. He just asked me which inning we're in."

7. "Well, he's no Karl 'The Mailman' Malone, but we do admire his package."

8. "This kid's got more ball-handling tricks than Andrew Sullivan in a Fire Island Men's Room." --- The comment that (finally) got Dick Vitale banned from sports.

9. "Well, what do you expect from a kid who takes to the court in white socks and black Bruno Magli loafers?"

10. "Uh, yeah, coach, that trick where you pull a nerdy misfit kid from the stands at a critical moment in the game and he saves the day... that only works in Hollywood."

Best o' Submariner

Coach daydreamed about Steve, Whitesox celebrations and a trip to the Blue Oyster until the ball bounced off his temple...

Having grown up, lost the baby fat and died his hair black, Patrick still had a penchant for dressing in orange and doing things just a touch oddly.

Best o' AlphaMu42

"Are you sure this is the right time to punt?"

Granted, he's not much with a basketball, but you should have seen what he can do with a cat.

Best o' Divine Miss M
"I knew Bo Jackson, and you, Yutaka Fukufuji, might be okay on skates, but you're no Bo Jackson!" (I'm a sucker for any Fukufuji reference)

From SI on a tip from R McCauslin

18 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Coach wondered if it was going to be a problem that Darren liked to keep a "Sulu" poster taped to his locker door.

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan was waiting in agitated expectation for the new guy. But he was seriously dissapointed when he saw what was meant by "Steve can balance his balls on his foot..."

Submariner said...

Coach daydreamed about Steve, Whitesox celebrations and a trip to the Blue Oyster until the ball bounced off his temple...

Submariner said...

Having grown up, lost the baby fat and died his hair black, Patrick still had a penchant for dressing in orange and doing things just a touch oddly.

Submariner said...

Tweedledee did a killer Jack Benny. Tweedledum, however, could only master pocket pool...

Submariner said...

Just another sell-out crowd for the Clippers...

Submariner said...

Nothing to see here, folks.

Seriously.

But you can stay and waste your time, too - if you want to...

Jonathan said...

Coach: "Leave it to a Canadian to get his sports mixed up! Damned hoser!"

Nash: "Pretty good, eh? That's why I won the NBA MVP award last year! No one throws a TD pass like I do!"

AM42 said...

"Yeah Bill, I know he's pretty bad... but until find where he hid that picture of us 'hitting the showers together' I'm afraid he's going to have to stay on the team."

AM42 said...

"Are you sure this is the right time to punt?"

AM42 said...

Granted, he's not much with a basketball, but you should have seen what he can do with a cat.

AM42 said...

Yeah Bill, Takei's a good kid and I hate to cut him from the team... let's just hope that dream of being an actor works out for him.

Divine Miss M said...

"I knew Bo Jackson, and you, Yutaka Fukufuji, might be okay on skates, but you're no Bo Jackson!"

Divine Miss M said...

After getting quietly released from his baseball contract for kissing his coach in full view of the audience, he tried his hand at ANY sport that might allow him to keep his green card.

Submariner said...

After watching Steve drop-kick 27 in a row through the hoop from half court, Coach K thought long and hard for a way around the rules in order to take advantage...

Submariner said...

Not-so-terribly obscure reference alert:

Steve kicked the ball in surprise when the butt-monkey started clawing his way out...

Submariner said...

Coming to practice angry after watching the Kathy Bates marathon, Steve walked up the the coach, kicked his balls and screamed "Tawanda!"

Right Wing Animator said...

You have to be 10% smarter then what you're trying to operate and from the looks of it, that ball is kicking his intelectual ass