1. The LA Clippers unveiled their #1 draft pick today.
2. "He wasn't open, Kobe!"
3. "My new sport combines the low scores of soccer with the endless repetition of basketball. It's very popular in countries where assisted suicide is legal."
4. "Oh, come on, ref! Where I come from, spiking a guy in the jewels is a foul!"
5. "Well, coach, maybe I wouldn't drop the ball so much if you and your 'longtime companion' weren't always staring at my crotch."
6. "It's worse than you think. He just asked me which inning we're in."
7. "Well, he's no Karl 'The Mailman' Malone, but we do admire his package."
8. "This kid's got more ball-handling tricks than Andrew Sullivan in a Fire Island Men's Room." --- The comment that (finally) got Dick Vitale banned from sports.
9. "Well, what do you expect from a kid who takes to the court in white socks and black Bruno Magli loafers?"
10. "Uh, yeah, coach, that trick where you pull a nerdy misfit kid from the stands at a critical moment in the game and he saves the day... that only works in Hollywood."
Best o' Submariner
Coach daydreamed about Steve, Whitesox celebrations and a trip to the Blue Oyster until the ball bounced off his temple...
Having grown up, lost the baby fat and died his hair black, Patrick still had a penchant for dressing in orange and doing things just a touch oddly.
Best o' AlphaMu42
"Are you sure this is the right time to punt?"
Granted, he's not much with a basketball, but you should have seen what he can do with a cat.
Best o' Divine Miss M
"I knew Bo Jackson, and you, Yutaka Fukufuji, might be okay on skates, but you're no Bo Jackson!" (I'm a sucker for any Fukufuji reference)
From SI on a tip from R McCauslin