Thursday, October 06, 2005

Oink

1. The house of brick withstood the big bad wolf's onslaught. So, the big bad wolf blew up the levee instead.

2. "This is our ool, notice there's not any 'p' in it."

3. Mr. Watson, 42, has figured out a fool-proof way to keep Muslim Extremists out of his pool.

4. Hey, nice pool. The Lord of the Flies is doing pretty well for himself.

5. "Are you still mad because I had roast beef and you had none?"

6. "I read somewhere they can skeletonize a cow in under five minutes. Good thing we're not cows, huh?"

7. "Forget about her. She was just a campaign worker I was banging. Let's swim back to shore and hit some bars."

8. "Dude, those Hawaiians are treating us great. First, a nice hot bath, and later, a luau!"

9. "No room in the ark? No problem, we'll just stand on top of the unicorns."

10. "Don't look at me like that. It's just shrinkage from the cold water. Shrinkage!"

Yahoo News/Ass Press

21 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

wait until that Iranian wrestler learns that he used Porky's sweat to lube up his body!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey man, ditch the blunt, it's the PIGS!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Legends of the Animal Kingdom:
"And lo, the Swine of the Lake brought forth... Oinkcalibur."

(Cut me some slack, it's the only way I could fit it in. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh, what the hell's the point, Petunia? I mean we're just gonna end up as slabs in someone's Egg McMuffin anyway..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not satisfied with simply banning "Piglet" to avoid offending their Muslim population, England sends all pigs packin' across the channel.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Picture Puzzle:
Look closely... Can YOU find the delicious piece of bacon in the picture?

Son Of The Godfather said...

After spending several hours in the flood, they were completely waterhogged.

(stretch? :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"To arms! To arms! The Orcs have learned how to swim!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Four legs bad... Two legs good... Flippers even better."

Son Of The Godfather said...

A rare photo of Michael Moore's septuplets.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'd give my left nut to be back in my house on Pooh Corner about now."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Animal Kingdom Productions
PRESENTS

"Swine Lake"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Failed Movie Titles:
Babe III: Swine in a Tsunami

tomslick said...

After lengthy setbacks, the Rosie O'Donnell cloning project finally was a grand success.

Divine Miss M said...

My little piggy needed something new!

Van Helsing said...

Displaying surprisingly astute maternal instincts, Anna Nicole Smith's first thought after bearing the litter was to wash off her new young.

Submariner said...

The new Palestine women's synchronized swimming team runs into a disastrous problem while preparing for the 2008 summer Olympics when Fatima realizes that the 6 leafed star flower centerpiece of their routine could be mistaken as a Star of David...

Tomslick said...

And we're down to the last leg of the 100 meter free style folks with Ted Kennedy ahead by 3 snouts, slowly gaining at the number 2 position is the rev bootie call jackson and close behind at #3 is Rosie O'Donnell. Michael Moore at #4 slot is making his move on the outside. Porky Sharpton seems to be tiring at #5, but don't rule him out yet. Webster Hubbell still trailing by 4 Ted Kennedy ass lengths is pretty much out of it and picking up the rear, as expected, is Barney Frank.

Anonymous said...

...and now that their gills have evolved into a lung and snorkel system, the salmon are able to swim twice as far up stream.

Anonymous said...

First step in making Bean and Bacon soup for 12,000.

Anonymous said...

Have you seen the little piggies, swimming in the pool.....