1. The house of brick withstood the big bad wolf's onslaught. So, the big bad wolf blew up the levee instead.
2. "This is our ool, notice there's not any 'p' in it."
3. Mr. Watson, 42, has figured out a fool-proof way to keep Muslim Extremists out of his pool.
4. Hey, nice pool. The Lord of the Flies is doing pretty well for himself.
5. "Are you still mad because I had roast beef and you had none?"
6. "I read somewhere they can skeletonize a cow in under five minutes. Good thing we're not cows, huh?"
7. "Forget about her. She was just a campaign worker I was banging. Let's swim back to shore and hit some bars."
8. "Dude, those Hawaiians are treating us great. First, a nice hot bath, and later, a luau!"
9. "No room in the ark? No problem, we'll just stand on top of the unicorns."
10. "Don't look at me like that. It's just shrinkage from the cold water. Shrinkage!"
Yahoo News/Ass Press