(FYI: Lamb and Lynx Gaede are two 13 year old girls who form the singing duo "Prussian Blue," and are dedicated to spreading Nazi ideology through the medium of song.)
1. "We're shooting a new version of The Sound of Music where the Von Trapps get sent to Birkenau with the other social parasites. Oliver Stone is directing."
2. "Now, how did a dumb mud-person like Spike Lee figure out that we blew up the levees?"
3. "How come we never get to kill any bears?"
4. "Don't even think about it, Kobe. We don't want your mud-people germs."
5. On a very special Brady Bunch, Bobby and Cindy turn in Jan to the Gestapo as a Traitor to the Fatherland and Field Marshall Rommel takes Marcia to Prom.
6. "Allen, Brad... I don't care how good it feels, it's not natural for you boys to dress like that."
7. "You girls look so wholesome. Daddy is so proud. Well, time to take you to the Elks Club where you'll be passed around like a fat spliff at a Phish concert."
8. "So, what exactly does R. Kelly's 'recycled St. Pauli Girl fantasy' entail?"
9. "If we promise to be good, can we have our shivs back?"
10. "On the one hand, we know it's purely for shock value, but on the other, it is kind of an honor to tour with Eminem."
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Jon-Benet Ramsey's father liked his new job as independent photographer, which allowed him to play out his "Heidi and her sister in Der Rheinland" fantasy.
Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Anne Frank? Yea, I haven't seen her in homeroom for like a week and a half."
Best of Van Helsing
After learning that Sergeant Schultz was a pedophile, Hogan hit upon the perfect distraction.
Best of Submariner
You like, don't you mein herr? For just a few Deutch Marks, you can visit our "private website" and see us frolic in the Alps...
Best of Submariner
Why yes, I AM happy. Wanna play "Guess what I'm sitting on?"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Buy the new CD from Prussian Blue, featuring the hits: R-A-C-I-S-T (Find out what it means to Me); Aryan-unh!-Huffington; White Blooded (can't you see... Got an IQ less than 73); If You're Aryan and You Know It, Clap Your Hands; Daddy Shoulda Worn A Condom; Grandma Got Run Over by a Mud Person; (Wanna Be a) Smelly Pirate Hooker in Training; Trailer by the Bowl-O-Rama and many, many more
Hat Tip: Glenn Beck