1. "BRAINS!... BRAINS!..."
2. "And one of these little UFOs came over that mountain and I was signaled from a group of persons to come. And I was beamed up into that small vehicle and carried to a larger vehicle, where I heard the voice of my leader and teacher, the Honorable Elijah Mohamed..."*
3. Harriet Miers mused. "Gray pinstripes? I'd look good in those. Maybe with a hot pink and teal blouse?"
4. Louis recounts the time Robert Byrd welcomed him to West Virginia with a laurel and hearty handshake.
5. "You commie rat-bastard, you've been eating off my deli tray!"
6. Note to self: Even if he's tending bar, never ask Andrew Sullivan to set you up with a delicious Black Russian.
7. "Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes..."
8. "So, that's why the hot side stays hot and the cold side stays cold. But can the White Devil explain how the french fries are neither French, nor always fried?"
9. "My hands are on backwards! My hands are backwards!" The Black Stalin Impersonator turned out to have brought some really great 'shrooms.
10. "The bad news is the White Devil is destroying our families. The bad news is the White Devil blew up the levees in New Orleans. The bad news is the white Devil sent crack into our neighborhoods to destroy our black culture. But, brothers and sisters, there is also good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance."
Update: Best of SOTG
"It's the big one! I'm comin', Elizabeth!"
"I want my Jell-O puddin' pops, ya see..."
Update: Best of Submariner
"Captain Louis to Mothership Blackerprise. We're too late. The white devils have destroyed this planet as well. Damn that evil Yacub!... YACUUB! YAACUUUB!!
* This would be a lame caption, except that he actually said that.
Beam him up.