Thursday, October 27, 2005

Like, You Don't Know Where This Is Going...

1. "He still kisses better than that smelly hooker in Pittsburgh."

2. "Okay, dad, now that you've had all of us, who's best? Me, mom, sis, or grandpa?"

3. Call me?

4. "That's right, son. The restraining order is invalid now that you're 18. The bad news is I'm no longer interested in you, now that you're 18."

5. "Good news. The tests were negative! Come here, ya big bear."

6. "What's wrong? You seem aroused, yet distant? Are you staring at the bat boys again?"

7. "Ugh, I can still taste the umpire in your mouth, but thanks for taking one for the team."

8. Eight Men Out... of the closet.

9. Ricky got the best souvenirs of all... a kiss from the manager and the manager's wallet.

10. "What's the matter? My little league coach always did this after a big win. Sometimes for hours."

Best o' Son Of The Godfather
"OK Johnny, let's take it away from all these cameras and into the locker room so I can slide into home if ya get my drift."

"No, this is my last bit of chewing tobacco, I don't have any more for... Hey!... MMMmmmmfff mmmmmffff!"

Best o' Jonathan Leffingwell
The White Sox players react with glee upon learning that the team has narrowed its relocation choices down to Key West, Fire Island, or San Francisco.

Best o'AlphaMu42
"Oh coach, this is the happiest day of my life! Plus, we won the series!

"Hey, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!"

Best o' Me
Just tell grandma you got AIDS from having unprotected sex with the coach while you were stoned. She'll understand.

From Here.

57 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Perhaps it would have been understandable, had it not happened during pre-game practice.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Figures... "White Sox" tend to go with "Pink Panties"

Son Of The Godfather said...

DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Another obvious USA Today doctored photo...
Coach's eyebrows have been artificially darkened.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Man, I sure hope you thought I was bit by a rattler on the lips, cuz otherwise, I'm gonna have to kick your ass."

fatman said...

And just what is wrong with smelly hookers in Pittsburgh, hmm?!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Showers... Five minutes... And Johnny, wear only the white socks."

Son Of The Godfather said...

In extremely flaming voice:
"Ooooh! Batter UP!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Failed Hollywood Titles:
Field of Andrew Sullivan's Dreams
(if you build it, he will come)

Hey, I had to do it. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"OK Johnny, let's take it away from all these cameras and into the locker room so I can slide into home if ya get my drift."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"No, this is my last bit of chewing tobacco, I don't have any more for... Hey!... MMMmmmmfff mmmmmffff!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Instead of watching game highlights, Coach and Johnny hunker down for a Will and Grace marathon.

Son Of The Godfather said...

As Coach spotted their innocent display of emotion on the Jumbo-tron, he knew it would likely be his last World Series.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Johnny's "coming out" in front of the press made him the new Rosa Parks of baseball... Only gayer... and a bit repulsive.

V the K said...

Just tell grandma you got AIDS from having unprotected sex with the coach while you were stoned. She'll understand.

Son Of The Godfather said...

This picture is just so hard to fathom...
I mean the White Sox winning the World Series of course.

(Oh V the K, no you didn't! heh ;)

Jonathan said...

The White Sox players react with glee upon learning that the team has narrowed its relocation choices down to Key West, Fire Island, or San Francisco.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Ya know, Johnny, a pat on the ass would have been sufficient."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Later, Coach would show Johnny the proper method for "choking up on the bat".

Son Of The Godfather said...

"A swing and a hit!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Borrowed from Jonathon Leffingwell's cap:
"Hey, you just won your first World Series! What are you going to do now?"
"We're going to Fire Island!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I want to write more, but staring at the photo has the same effect as that black and white mime one a few pictures ago.

Van Helsing said...

And I thought last year was bad, with the Red Sox hugging all the time like some kind of encounter group.

Son Of The Godfather said...

THIS JUST IN (DRUDGE)
Harriet Miers has withdrawn herself from consideration to the Supreme Court...
In an unrelated story, it appears that the White Sox are all a bunch of bone smugglers.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ladies, please skip this caption!
Later that night, Johnny would experience what REAL success felt like... Mainly, a thumping sensation in the asshole.

AM42 said...

"Oh coach, this is the happiest day of my life!

...what's that, we won the series too?

AM42 said...

"Okay son, I'm glad that you saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico, but is this really necessary?"

AM42 said...

"Okay Johnny, I know that you're really excited about the game, but will you please stop reciting Phil Rizzuto's lines from Paradise by the Dashboard Light?"

AM42 said...

"Sure Johnny... you're happy, but I had 25 dimes on Houston."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Alphamu42,

Let me sleep on it. I'll give you an answer in the mo-o-orning.

AM42 said...

"Hey, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!"

LOL sotg!
And damn... you gotta get up real early to scoop you on a caption, huh?

Son Of The Godfather said...

and of course:

"You took the words right out of my mouth... It must've been while you were kissin' me..."

Sure enough, Alphamu42...
The early bird (or nightshift guy) gets the worm... Hey that fits the photo too! ;)

AM42 said...

And oldie, but a goodie...

"So Timmy, you ever seen a grown man naked?"

AM42 said...

"Uh coach? Please tell me that's the game winning ball in your pocket..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Johnny's re-enactment of the famous spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp always brought him romantic success.

AM42 said...

"Just another minute Johnny... my ex-wife is just starting to look this way."

Son Of The Godfather said...

In extremely flaming voice:
"Thtop thaying I have 'two balls' on me! You know how randy it makes me! Oh come here, now!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obscure ref:
"I knew it, we're rump rangers for sure! We may as well just move in together and get matching His and His towels."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I SAID that after your piss-poor performance on the field, I should be DISSING you!"

AM42 said...

"Uh coach? The full lip-lock is bad enough... do you really have to squeeze my ass too?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Does it mean I'm "homophobic" if I'd rather be looking at the picture of the fat-assed red-headed protester from a couple weeks ago? heh

AM42 said...

"Relax Johnny... with all the commotion out here on the field, I doubt that anyone will even notice us."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh my God! The new Prussian Blue album is out! I'm so excited!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President! Al Gore for President!...

Take THAT, you Googling DU bitches!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sure, we kissed out in the open for a 5-minute timespan while he fondled my nuts... That don't make us gay or anything..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obscure ref:
"What about that time we found you naked with a bowl of Jell-O?"
"It was hot, and I was hungry!"

prismwarden said...

So wrong.

I love it.

AM42 said...

"Uh Johnny, I would have just assumed that this was simply a case of you getting caught up in the moment...

However, I notice that you took the time to rent out the jumbotron as well.

Submariner said...

What can I say coach? The pressure of playing the Ass-pros just became more than I could take!

Submariner said...

Let's go home and listen to Streisand show tunes while watching Judy Garland flicks?

Submariner said...

Y'know? I've just been so open since I had Kobe's beef...

Submariner said...

Heh heh heh. "Swoopes! There it is!" Yeah, I get it.

Submariner said...

Coach's "Donald Trump and the batboy" technique proved to be his most inspired motivational technique.

Submariner said...

Enough outdoor sports, Johnny. Let's head down to the Blue Oyster and really slap some leather.

Submariner said...

C'mon, Bruce. Let's go back to your place for a serious game of throw and catch, if you get my drift?

Submariner said...

Ay-yi-yi! Papi!!!

Cynical Nation said...

What, no Andrew Sullivan joke?!?

Divine Miss M said...

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer; you've had a busy day today."