1. "He still kisses better than that smelly hooker in Pittsburgh."
2. "Okay, dad, now that you've had all of us, who's best? Me, mom, sis, or grandpa?"
3. Call me?
4. "That's right, son. The restraining order is invalid now that you're 18. The bad news is I'm no longer interested in you, now that you're 18."
5. "Good news. The tests were negative! Come here, ya big bear."
6. "What's wrong? You seem aroused, yet distant? Are you staring at the bat boys again?"
7. "Ugh, I can still taste the umpire in your mouth, but thanks for taking one for the team."
8. Eight Men Out... of the closet.
9. Ricky got the best souvenirs of all... a kiss from the manager and the manager's wallet.
10. "What's the matter? My little league coach always did this after a big win. Sometimes for hours."
Best o' Son Of The Godfather
"OK Johnny, let's take it away from all these cameras and into the locker room so I can slide into home if ya get my drift."
"No, this is my last bit of chewing tobacco, I don't have any more for... Hey!... MMMmmmmfff mmmmmffff!"
Best o' Jonathan Leffingwell
The White Sox players react with glee upon learning that the team has narrowed its relocation choices down to Key West, Fire Island, or San Francisco.
"Oh coach, this is the happiest day of my life! Plus, we won the series!
"Hey, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!"
Best o' Me
Just tell grandma you got AIDS from having unprotected sex with the coach while you were stoned. She'll understand.