1. The guys from Wang Chung have really let themselves go.
2. "See, you guys, I told you all Jews carry their Jew Gold in bags around their necks." "Yeah, that David Schwimmer guy, what a pussy."
3. Andrew Sullivan despaired. "Look at that line. I'll never get into the Bathhouse. I'm so chagrined."
4. Four members of the Atomic Wedgie Support Group go out for delicious SUbway sandwiches.
5. "And this is the store where they hung the crucified Santa Claus over the entrance."
6. "I still think it was cheating for that 'Clobbersaurus' guy to use a chair."
7. "Do ya have ta call me fat? I tried going on a diet you know. The Zone, ya know, "Carbs are the enemy," eh? But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man."
8. Jay Leno today announced auditions for "The Dancin' Moores."
9. "When sign the color of white is, please to carefully enjoy crossing of street with much happiness." A group of Japanese Instruction Manual Writers take a lunch break.
10. WARNING: The RIAA Has Determined That Just Looking At This Picture Violates International Copyright Laws. Armed Teams of RIAA Enforcers Are En Route To Your Home To Terminate You And All Of Your Loved Ones. Serves You Right You Dirty Thief!
11. "George W. Bush Doesn't Care About Exhibitionists With Glandular Conditions!"