1. Trojan tries to appeal to the youth market by unveiling Tele-Chubbies.
2. Fortunately, being captured and exterminated by Daleks was Ricky's lifelong fantasy.
3. "(Gasp)... (Wheeze)... Giant... (Gasp) ... rubber ... (Gasp) design... had no ... (Cough) ... airholes..."*
4. Michael Jackson's kids never outgrew their love for veils, even as Earth was invaded and the human race annihilated by six-foot technicolor nipples."
5. Coming up on The Barney Frank Variety Hour, the Richard Simmons dancers, with a musical tribute to Harriet Miers's fashion sense.
6. While going through life with your head up your ass, protection is critically important.
7. "Mother Sheehan, the rest of the collective heard about your night with Jesse Jackson, and, well, they're not taking any chances."
8. All it took was telling the Earth Firsters that their own respirations emitted greenhouse gases, and the entire movement suffocated itself in an attempt to spare the environment. Meanwhile, some freak in a veil wet his pants.
9. "Are you mad? I am your daughter."
10. The SFPD deploys its fabulous bomb squad.
I got it from here, but I heard about it from Van Helsing.
* Simplicity pattern submitted by one "K. Rove."