Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Lefties Reminding Us Again Why They Are Not in Power

1. Trojan tries to appeal to the youth market by unveiling Tele-Chubbies.

2. Fortunately, being captured and exterminated by Daleks was Ricky's lifelong fantasy.

3. "(Gasp)... (Wheeze)... Giant... (Gasp) ... rubber ... (Gasp) design... had no ... (Cough) ... airholes..."*

4. Michael Jackson's kids never outgrew their love for veils, even as Earth was invaded and the human race annihilated by six-foot technicolor nipples."

5. Coming up on The Barney Frank Variety Hour, the Richard Simmons dancers, with a musical tribute to Harriet Miers's fashion sense.

6. While going through life with your head up your ass, protection is critically important.

7. "Mother Sheehan, the rest of the collective heard about your night with Jesse Jackson, and, well, they're not taking any chances."

8. All it took was telling the Earth Firsters that their own respirations emitted greenhouse gases, and the entire movement suffocated itself in an attempt to spare the environment. Meanwhile, some freak in a veil wet his pants.

9. "Are you mad? I am your daughter."

10. The SFPD deploys its fabulous bomb squad.

I got it from here, but I heard about it from Van Helsing.

* Simplicity pattern submitted by one "K. Rove."

22 comments:

Van Helsing said...

Inspired by Robert Newman's successful line of salad dressings, Karl Rove baby formula kicked off with an exciting marketing campaign that features dancing baby bottles and a teenage baby still covered with a placenta and wearing leaky diapers.

bubbalove said...

Young Republicans display a diorama of multi-culti baby bottles juxtapositioned with a condom-wrapped dickhead to illustrate the cause and result of the liberal buggering of America.

or

King Karl condoms! Buy some today!

or

The evil liberal robot race of Dicklicks slowly approached the shrink-wrapped Republican, hoping to meld with him and rediscover logic.

or

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! WE ARE THE INFERIOR BEINGS!

Son Of The Godfather said...

NEW! RAINBOW CONDOMS!!
"They come in 7 different colors, and now, so can you!"

(V the K, your #1 is a prize winner... And nice "The Others" ref!)

Son Of The Godfather said...

That's pretty much how I think of the left... A bunch of dicks with some incontinence thrown in.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The havoc that could be had with but a single Bic lighter.

Son Of The Godfather said...

As they threw the net over him, he looked up at the remains of the Statue of Liberty sticking up through the sand. They had gone and done it. Mankind, in its ignorance, had created a planet where Rubbers ruled Humans. A Planet of the Scumbags.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I used it a few captions ago, but:

Throw out your hands,
Stick out your tush,
Hands on your hips,
give 'em a push.
You'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake...
Voila!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Apologies, but it works:

"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Asian lady in burqaa came all the way to Iraq with her friends...They heard it was "Erection Day"

(Oh knock it off, you would have taken it too. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

You know you just might have to step back a bit and take a deep breath when you realize your hatred for a political party has some how resulted in your spending God knows how much time constructing 6-foot condom costumes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

DRUDGE - BREAKING!!!
V the K was arrested late last night when it was suspected he murdered a peaceful protester who was dressed in a condom costume.

He would later be charged with "Rubbing one out".

heh

Son Of The Godfather said...

The protest became a wild scene when, in a poorly coordinated co-event, members of PETA showed up with animals who escaped their pens at the protest.
Some primates had to be disciplined, while it became necessary to subdue dangerous fowl by strangling them.
Yes, there was plenty of spanking the monkey and choking the chicken at this event.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Riot police attempt to comply with the protest sign by firing multiple bean-bag rounds into his scrotum.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey you guys, I taste something funny... I KNOW I've had this taste in my mouth before..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wish their folks had followed that advice.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Comment from SOTG to my buddies if we were present:
"I've got the bat if you got the bail money."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Let's just hope the little pricks applied spermicide first.

(Still laughing at "Tele-Chubbies")

Submariner said...

Sunflower and his buddies would later regret watching the "safe sex" scene in Naked Gun while stoned.

Submariner said...

Representatives of the La Leche League were upset that the moonbats were promoting bottlefeeding.

Submariner said...

According to Seattle police, the melee broke out shortly after a Young Republican observed that the group probably was conceived by using condoms that had holes in them "...just like that group behind you, jackass!"

Submariner said...

Protesters were not amused when asked if they were against Karl Rove or giving homage to the size of his man-staff?

Submariner said...

"Dick and the Overcoats" failed miserably in their debut as a Philly street corner doo-wop group.