Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I would have used this picture even if I didn't owe Mistress Sondra a touchback

1. "Um, dear, you're stoned."

2. The intricacies of the Traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony were way over Monica's head.

3. Monica Lewinsky douches herself.

4. "Alien? No, of course not. Watch as I enjoy your normal hyooo-mon beverages."

5. "Monica, hey, it Mack Daddy. Why you ain't at yo' phone, bitch? Got you a 'date.' all you do is, you pour tea through yo' nose while Senator Kennedy play wi' himself, Easiest $500.00 you ever make. Call me now, bitch."

6. Monica would never be invited to Dim Sum again.

7. Monica's compulsive fetishism led to a scandal at the urine testing lab.

8. "All right, I'm filling my nostrils with pure grain alcohol. Got that lighter ready? This will be sweet."

9. Filling your nose with scalding hot water will provide temporary relief from listening to conservatives debate the Miers nomination.

10. Ten captions in, he thinks, "That could be a dude."

11. Starbucks weeds out another underqualified job applicant.

Touchback: Knowledge Is Power

16 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

And there's the deciding factor about whether I was hungry for a McMuffin after workin' the nightshift...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Why you gotta make fun of Katie Couric all the time?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Jeees, that Vulcan mating ritual has gotten weird!

Whoopsie-Daisey said...

Bruse demonstrates his technique for snowballing for the novitiates...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Isn't it supposed to be: "Oh man, you made milk come out of my nose."???

Submariner said...

David Blaine amazes the NY street crowd by pulling a gravy boat from Pat's sinus cavity.

Submariner said...

Pat looks on in stunned awe - "Man! normally the tears would run out of my eyes when something that long was jerked out of me!"

Divine Miss M said...

You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny.

ColoraodPatriot said...

Sheesh!
That Ellen will do anything to draw an audience these days.

Van Helsing said...

Big deal. Jeanine Garofalo can do this through her ears.

Cricket said...

Seeing someone actually use a Netti Pot (or as we call it here, a snotty pot)
is just oogie.

Great captions...I was laughing so hard I shot milk out my nose...

bubbalove said...

Here, a Code Pink operative can be seen trying to ingest crystal meth in liquid form but is seemingly unaware that it has burned a hole through her nasal septum.

Cricket said...

"Drinking problem? What drinking problem?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The first generation of androgenous A.I. helper bots had a few glitches.

Submariner said...

Just curious, is that a Pusher Robot's hand holding the tureen?

Whoopsie-Dasey said...

Demonstrates how he/she knows she/he's full when it runs out his/her nose...