Friday, October 07, 2005

I Don't Know, Third Base!

John Schneider Hates the Braves and, for that reason, has requested that I Caption This photo...

1. "I'd like to tell you that it wasn't your fault we lost. I'd like to, but it was your fault. What can I say? Burn in Hell, loser."

2. "Don't sweat it. I'm sure you're not the first guy who ever crapped his pants while sliding into home."

3. "No, dude, I'd never smell your pits. That's just effin' gross."

4. "Dude, that team looks good. Damn good. Especially their pitcher. Good fastball, taut, perky bubble-butt . . . what's that guy's name again?

5. "So, what if we lost? We're in New York ... home of the hottest bath house action on the Eastern Seaboard. You change, I'll get the car."

6. "No, we're only playing one game. 'Double-header' refers to the sex toy in my gym bag."

7. "So what if I throw like a girl? At least I don't kiss like one."

8. "So, you can scratch your balls and pat your head at the same time. You've passed the Braves physical."

9. "How much did Karl Rove pay you to plug George Will with that foul ball?"

4 comments:

Divine Miss M said...

"Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor."

Submariner said...

"Just a little outside," my *ss. You just nailed the third base coach, man! When he flipped over backwards from getting beaned I laughed so hard that I think I broke a rib. But I think it would have been even funnier if he was looking when you threw it...

Van Helsing said...

"Keep your hand off my ass or I'll twist your head around backward."

Anonymous said...

Did you see that? That 60 year old Supreme Court nominee just hip-checked an LA King over the rail...