Toilet Paper .... check
Bud Light.... check
Keystone Ice.... check
Red Dog.... check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol.... check
Piece of plywood to float your old lady and booze on...check
1. I have a feeling that 'Any Time' was also her high school nickname.
2. "No, Cletus, I am not comforted by the good news that you saved a bunch of money on car insurance."
3. "All right, 'Noah,' you go ahead and finish loading up the 'Ark' with two of every kind of beer."
4. "It wasn't me!"
5. "Damn it, Cletus, how can I get that hot National Guardsman to notice me if you keep 'coming up for air.' Bitch, bitch, bitch."
6. Someone should tell maintenance the rink's thermostat needs to be adjusted.
7. "Shield your eyes, honey. Shelley Winter's bloated corpse is floating by.
8. "Lurleen, cut the 'A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets...' crap and pop me another beer."
9. "Hell of a time to be water-soluble, ain't it, Cletus?"
10. "See? Farakhan was right! George Bush wants us dead."
11. "Why do they keep sayin' on the radio that the dike failed? I got my GED!"
12. "Did'ja hear how gran'ma kept screaming as she was swept away? That was kinda cool."