1. "Good boy, sugar cube?"
2. "Come on, smell it and guess where it's been. You'll be surprised when I tell you."
3. One of the benefits of being a communist dictator is you can pick your friend's nose.
4. "Thanks for the offer, Hugo, but my doctor thinks I should take care of my own bulimia."
5. "You say, 'Rock smashes pencil.' I say, 'Finger crushes windpipe.' Who's your daddy now, biyatch?"
6. "One time! It was only one time! And I was really drunk. Besides, this was Erik Estrada we're talking about."
1. "You bitch! How dare you call Liza Minelli 'a pale imitation of her mother!'"
2. "Sometimes, I think we fight just for the brutal, savage make-up sex."
3. "I tell you Hugo, it was the strangest dream. Our photo was posted on the internet and some guy named 'son of the godfather' was making rude homo-erotic innuendo about us."
4. "Look, I don't care that you started working out. I've always been able to kick your ass, and I always will be. Deal with it."
5. "The safety word is 'Castro.'"
6. "One of these days, Hugo. One of these days, Pow! To the moon!"
Cien Gracias a: A.M. Mora y Leon