Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Harriet Miers Style

1. "I'll have you know I mugged a Kmart clerk for this jacket."

2. Ultimately, it wasn't criticism from the right that sank the nomination, just a few catty remarks from Mr. Blackwell.

3. "Mrs. Bush thought you might be depressed because of the criticism, so she sent you a male stripper. Wanna play with his nightstick?"

4. "Really? If your hand is bigger than your face, it means you have cancer? Let me try that." Whack!

5. "Hey, whassamatter, you mook? Don't you go talkin' 'bout my lady that way! Back off before I bust your thumbs."

6. "Paul Lynde killed himself in a jacket just exactly like that one."

7. "You know, on fashion sense alone, I'm willing to buy that you're another David Souter."

8. "I look at that jacket-scarf combo and think, somewhere, there's a pimp shivering in his air-conditioned Cadillac."

9. "I think I have the perfect accessory for that outfit, a big gold medallion that says'Money Over Bitches.'"

10. "May I presume from the guard posted outside the Vice President's office, the scent of leather and Astro-Glide, and the animal-like grunts and howls coming from inside that Cokie Roberts has dropped by for a nooner?"

Harrietmiers.blogspot.com

20 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Holy shnikes, all that's missing is a big, yellow backpack and a nametag sewn into the jacket!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"And in here, you may change into something more appropriate... like someone with fashion sense."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Did you come from Los Angeles, Ms. Miers? Oh, I'm sorry, I was just reading about the rolling blackouts there, looked at your wardrobe, and put 2 and 2 together..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sometimes, when I get nervous, I clench my thumbs really tight. Then I stick them under my armpits and smell them like this..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"This is our gem. It is the actual stuffed and mounted carcass of Terry McAuliffe. We're quite proud of that one."

Rufus Leaking said...

Can't wait until the only thing I'm seen in public in is a BLACK ROBE!

Son Of The Godfather said...

His tie... Her scarf... I'd say e-harmony works quite well.

Son Of The Godfather said...

They thought the piece over the guard's left ear was for security reasons. It was later discovered he was listening to the Stern show when he could be heard humming "This is Beatle, I'm as bad as can, and he knows, he's the best..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"And this is the I.W.C., or Inclimate Weather Control room we use to distract the masses."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Nothing in my right hand, but voila! Is that YOUR watch in my left hand?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Guard's thought bubble:
"If I just hold my hands over it, no one will know Miers gives me wood."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Man those brownies you brought in were DEE-licious, Harriet! Hey, have you ever noticed trails when you move your hand all around?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"If you're going to bop Ted Kennedy, don't do it with the thumb tucked in like that... do it with the back of your hand like this."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Your table is ready, ma'am."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I ain't joshin, Harriet! There they were, plain as day in my swimming pool... Seven little piggies! You think someone was trying to send me a message?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I just patted her once on the bottom, like this... Now how would you have ruled in that, uhm, "hypothetical" harassment suit?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I am 95% certain the guy on the right is the same nazi guy who's hand got burned (and I think his face melted later) in Radiers of the Lost Ark.

Son Of The Godfather said...

He had bigger things to worry about than guarding the entrance to the football stadium. For some reason, he was the sole survivor of the train wreck... He had never even been sick a day in his life... He had to discover the truth about himself.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Both the guard and Harriet are giving international hand signals for "I have to go to the bathroom, NOW!"

Van Helsing said...

"Yes it's the men's room. Trust me, you don't want to go in the ladies' room. Hillary was in there only a half hour ago."