Sunday, October 16, 2005

Harriet, Harriet, Bo-barriet, Me-mi-mo-marriet, Banana-Fana-Fo-Farriet, Harriet

1. "Thanks for doing the PSA, Justice Miers. Anal fistula is a problem that affects us all."

2. "Well, Andrew Sullivan has weighed in on your nomination. He's 'appalled,' 'chagrined,' and 'filled with heartache at such gob-smacking vileness.' And that's just what he says about your jacket."

3. "So, what are you, a liberal? a conservative? a squish? What?" "I'm Batman."

4. I look at that jacket and I think, somewhere an Italian restaurant is short a tablecloth.

5. The real reason Miers never married: a creepy obsession with Herb Tarlek from WKRP in Cincinnati.

6. "You know, all you need to do is borrow O.J.'s Bruno Magli shoes and you will own the phrase 'ugly-assed.'"

7. "What's with the jacket? Is your polyester avocado pantsuit not back from the cleaners?"

8. "Well, 13% support your nomination, 11% oppose, and 87% think the jacket you're wearing is even creepier than the new Burger King commercials."

9. "Well, you've been rejected from the Supreme Court, but a used car dealer in Tyler, Texas is very interested. Very interested."

10. If, someday, someone does a Google search for "Andrew Sullivan" and "anal fistula" and this picture comes up, all of the captioning will have been worth it.

Best of SOTG

The catastrophe could not have been predicted, but High Definition sets all over the world simultaneously exploded when faced with the impossible pattern/color combinations.

"Ed, we're gonna need a wide-angle zoom out if we wanna capture the complete 'do. Get the one we use for Hillary's hips and turn it sidewise."

I got this from: AssPress

15 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Reporter on the right has one of those cool new "balding cap" yarmulkes on.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Ed, we're gonna have to zoom out if we wanna capture the complete doo."

Son Of The Godfather said...

AP cameraman about to be fired for his blindingly jingoistic support of a nation in defiance of AP, Reuters, and CBS guidelines.
(lower left)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Très jolie, Coco. Très jolie."

Son Of The Godfather said...

It pretty much sealed how the nomination would progress when Harriet put the teal jacket on over her current ensemble and began flinging her own feces at the interviewer.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sorry Ms. Miers!:

Beauty School Dropout,
No graduation day for you
Beauty School Droupout,
Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Carol Brady seems to be missing part of her wardrobe.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"What do you mean, 'Are you going to change into your real clothes now?'... Fuck you!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The catastrophe could not have been predicted, but High Definition sets all over the world simultaneously exploded when faced with the impossible pattern/color combinations.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"No qualifications?... I just figure if Fat Teddy can get elected to the senate, I can go to the Supreme Court... and I haven't even killed anyone in my car!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"To answer your question, Larry, I believe President Bush is the finest man I have ever known. He has character, charisma, and conviction. I trust in what he does and says, and I have complete faith in the things he is doing. His accomplishments are incredible, and, for the amount of time he has had to do all these things, I believe it is really quite remarkable."

"Uhm, Ms. Miers, I only asked how you were this morning..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Victims of "Aqua-Net" excess, Unite!

Van Helsing said...

Miers needs to be confirmed as quickly as possible, so we can get a black robe over those outfits.

bubbalove said...

Having been tipped off, the camera crews were ready to record Harriet's long-awaited arrest by the Fashion Police.

or

Here, Harriet Miers can be seen looking off-camera as she spies the Queer Eye guys preparing to bum-rush her at the behest of a desperate Bush administration.

V the K said...

The hairy, naked dwarf clung for dear life to the top of the reporter's skull.