Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween 2

© 2001 - Universal Home Video

1. "Hello, Mr Griffin. This is Quahog Memorial Hospital. Something terrible has happened to Stewie."

2. "No, Mr. Buchanan. We still haven't managed to locate the 'tracking chip' the Zionist Occupational Government implanted in your rectum."

3. "Well, Pee-Wee, if you stopped touching it, maybe it would have a chance to heal."

4. "Hello, Sperm Bank, Debbie Speaking. No, Mr. Sullivan, we don't make deliveries ... "

5. "The USS Nimitz is in port. Okay, Mack Daddy, I'll change outfits and get my sweet ass down to the docks."

6. "... and then, he farted and the gerbil shot out of his butt, the nurses were all screaming. It was hilarious!"

7. "Another prostate exam? But Mr. Sullivan, you've already had three this week?"

8. "DC Enema Center. No, Senator Kerry, there haven't been any cancellations. ... Yes, I know who you are."

9. "Hello, Planned Parenthood. Sure, bring her right in. And don't forget your card. If you get ten stamps, the next one's on us!"

10. "Hello, Emergency Room. You say you're choking on Trojan brand chewing gum? Trojan doesn't make chewing gum, Senator Boxer."

PS ... And Happy Blogiversary to The Right Place


Submariner said...

sweetly "Last Chance Escort Service."

"Hello Ms Mikulski. Yes, I remember the court order..."

"You can only have that kid with the orange hair; the one you left as only a shell of his former self the last time you used him..."

Submariner said...

".... Giggidy, giggidy...."

"Alright, dammit! WHO IS THIS?"

Submariner said...

Doctor Binkman? I already HAVE a "fire in my pumpkin." Why do you ask?

Submariner said...

Really? THE Howard Stern? Currently I'm wearing a starched white smock with the cutest little cap, but underneath? Well you'd have to look, now wouldn't you?

Van Helsing said...

"Hello, Mr. Chertoff. I'm pleased to report that Michael Moore's liposuction went well. Yes, it does seem that enough goo was extracted to fill a trench the length of the Mexican border. I'm sure you're right that the smell alone will keep illegals from trying to cross."

bubbalove said...

"Hello? Oh, Senator Clinton! I'm glad it's you. Yes..I dressed like you said and the guard out front of this Planned Parenthood clinic let me right in. So, when do I get to 'meet' Bill!? Um, yes, my virginity is still intact, why do you keep asking that? Does B...hey, is that you on the cell phone headed up the hall this way? that Senator Boxer? and Mikulski? and Feinstein? Why are you all wearing black robes and why are you holding A KNIFE!?"

Mussolini said...

911: "911 Operator, please state your emergency."

Nurse Coulter: "I'm in the mental stress ward and Mr. Dean just recognized me. He's stalking the halls for me with a butcher knife!"

Submariner said...

"Doctor? That big Indian Chief character just through a toilet through the window and he's getting away..."

Submariner said...

Look, Steve. All I can tell you is that your dad is sort of chortling to himself and saying that " one will EVER figure out the connection..." I think you ought to come down to the hospital and talk to him.

Submariner said...

I told you never to call me at this number while I'm working. I was about to give head to one of the patients...

Submariner said...

Doctor Frankenstien? Is it normal for the seeds and strings and goo from a jack-o-lantern to go into the garbage can? No, no; I mean all by itself?

Anonymous said...

"You know Billy, what worries me is how your mother is going to take this."