1. "I'd love to show you what I did to the corpses of Momma and Baby Bear, but it's just too disturbing."
2. "Hey! What would you do if the f**ker ate your cat?"
3. "I offer this sacrifice to the glory of Baal! Hail, Baal!"
4. "Wait 'til you see tha adorable little outfit I'm going to make from his hollowed-out carcass!"
5. "Well, the Asian gall bladder market has been sliding ever since Viagra came along, but this should at least be good for an iPod."
6. "I'm gonna have him stuffed and mounted... try making something dirty out of that you captioning sickos."
7. "You were right, daddy. Killin' bears is better than sex."
8. "Next, I intend to hunt the most dangerous prey of all... man!"
9. "I also wasted his little buddy, and then I ate the contents of their pick-a-nick basket."
10. "It was big, it was hairy, it was loud, and it was rooting around in our garbage. I thought I was shooting Al Gore."
Best o' Son Of The Godfather
"That'll teach those Berenstains not to f*ck with us!"
"Fine... PETA doesn't want me to sell Bo-Bo to the circus?... Problem solved."
"Well, I can honestly report that when you're chasing it down the creek with armor-piercing rounds, a bear DOES indeed sh*t in the woods."
Goldilock's sister: "The first round was too high. The second was too low... But the third one was just right."
Just tell your little sister you forgot to pick up the bear medicine for Bo-Bo because you were stoned. She'll understand.
Little known alternate ending to The Jungle Book includes an unfortunate encounter between Baloo and Amy Fisher.
"The last thing I heard him say was something about how only I could prevent forest fires. I don't need no condescending lecture from a stinkin' bear."
"And now, I will recreate the planet Hoth 'survival scene' from The Empire Strikes Back using the unfortunate Bo-Bo here as the tan-tan."
"That's a good thing ya done that to your little brother, Sierra... A REAL good thing! Now wish it into the cornfield."
Isn't wearing a big, flourescent-orange safety jacket over camoflage apparel a bit like trying to whack-it to a picture of Hillary? One kind of negates the other...
Best o' Submariner
"Nothin'. Kickin' back, cappin a bruin, having a Bud... You?"
Coming from a long line of USC grads, Tiffany was heard to mutter "UCLA undefeated my *ss!"
"Sometimes? When I kill, I can't help myself. I tuck my thumbs like this, stick my hands in my lap, and..."
If your sister takes opening day of every hunting season off from school as a holiday...you might be a redneck!
Pooh's last thought was, "Oh, bother! I knew I should have visited Paddington today..."*
* He was a bear of little brain, but they still made an awesome splatter pattern. - Ed.
Story from: Washington Post