Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Frankly, I Could Never Stand the Little Blue Bastards

1. "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!"

2. Apparently, Papa Smurf had been wrong, dead wrong, about The Fraggles being "effeminate girly-boys who don't know the first damn thing about air support."

3. "Damn you, Janet Reno. Damn you to Hell!"

4. The Blue Man Group does not take kindly to copyright violations.

5. "So, this is hell. Why? Why? Why did I butcher those Jehovah's Witnesses? Why?"

6. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time, we had a hail bomb. And for five hours, I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking fraggle body. The smell, you know, that gasoline smell, smells like... victory."

7. Randy Smurf looked at Smurfette'slifeless body, and the unused condom lying on the ground next to him, and thought, "Hey, maybe it's not too late after all."

8. "Effin' UN Peacekeepers. They rape Smurfette, steal all our money, take our drugs, and then ditch like a bitch when the bombs start flying."

9. Matt Groening's Guernica.

P.S. This relates to that whole Smurf/UNICEF Dealie

57 comments:

Submariner said...

Little Demonrat Smurf - "wwwwwwaaaaaaah! George Bush doesn't CARE about people of color!"

Submariner said...

The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!

Submariner said...

Dammit Papa! I warned you to respect his authoritah...

Submariner said...

Peta Smurf (running in front of the red hill) "They're destroying the habitat of the spotted owls! They MUST be stopped! And they're hurting lots of other animals, too!

Submariner said...

Papa Smurf surveyed the results of the raid and vowed to himself, "That's it, Gargamel. No more la-la-de-dah-la-la. I'm breaking out the smurfin' big boomers and gonna nuke your *ss..."

Submariner said...

And of course, the ever-applicable:

"Hey Kobe! Over here! I'm open..."

The Man said...

A Smurf that runs is the enemey; a Smurf that stands still is a well trained enemy.

ColoradoPatriot said...

For those fans of NRO:
"Mendooooooooozzzzaaaaa!"

ColoradoPatriot said...

Kanye Smurf: "George W. Bush doesn't care about blue people."

Submariner said...

Just the Gaza Pali's welcoming the pullout of Jooooooo Smurf and his clan.

Nothing to see here; just move along...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"KAAAAAAAAAAHN!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Godless commie Smurf's never imagined they'd be roasting in the depths of hell in the afterlife.

Son Of The Godfather said...

CSI: Smurfville:
"The skin pigmentation would seem to indicate that these Smurfs were already dead of auto-erotic asphisiation... asfixiation... whacking it 'til they passed out."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I've heard of blue balls, but these guys must've NEVER gotten any smurfette poon.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The lefty Smurfs (and the SCLU) would conclude that it was Smurf foreign policy that caused the havoc.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Moral: Build up your defenses, or prepare to be conquered.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lessons from Smurf Tzu's "The Smurf of War"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Fuck the little blue bastards if they can't take a joke.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sindy Smurf would gain sympathy by declaring she had lost her little Smurf in the war for oil.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I didn't know Michael Moore did cartoons.

Son Of The Godfather said...

And just off-camera to the left? 100's of busses that Mayor Smurfgin could have used for evacuation.

Submariner said...

Mayor Smurfgin told the 6 o'clock news "No need to worry about the fires, the flooding is putting them out."

bubbalove said...

Because of Lefty Smurf lies
Now Baby Smurf cries
Smurfette is dead in the dirt.
"Gargamel isn't dangerous"
"The Fraggles won't attack"
Now everyone is in a world of hurt.


SOTG - 'KAAAAHN''Smurf Tzu' OMG! LMAO!!

Van Helsing said...

I hope the Teletubbies are next on the list.

Anonymous said...

In this picture, the Smurfs represent the truth, the bombs represent the stories printed by the mainstream media and the planes represent the media outlets.

Now, it makes sense.

Right Wing Animator said...

First the orkz in the system, the tau and last on the list of xenos that needed an exterminatus..the insidious threat of the Smurf..

Son Of The Godfather said...

From the coloring books coming out of Berkeley, CA.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Smurfy Swaggart: "I have sinned against you!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

See what happens at a Smurf "wedding" when they fire guns into the air for celebration?

Son Of The Godfather said...

The result of "President Kerry's" waiting around for results of his "global test".

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We have unconfirmed reports that Osmurfa bin Laden may have been injured in the latest campaign."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hindsight being 20/20, perhaps white and blue were not the best desert camoflauge choices.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obscure reference, Middle East version:
"Where's your Allah now?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Pandemonium broke out at the DU and Kos headquarters (once again) when it was discovered that Karl Rove would be cleared of any wrong doing, all charges against Tom Delay were to be dropped, and Hillary was the front runner for the DNC in '08.

Son Of The Godfather said...

It was an awkward coincidence that reporters from Reuters, AP, and Al Jazeera were present at the exact moment of the terrorist attack on Smurfville.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not content to merely make-up news items, CBS takes the pioneering step to animate "recreations". The cartoons were said to be "colorful, but accurate".

Son Of The Godfather said...

UNICEF's next important public service announcement has been narrowed down to either Bugs Bunny contracting HIV or Scooby Doo getting ass-raped.

Son Of The Godfather said...

In the lesser-known "blue bible", the horrible story of Smurfom and Gamorrah

Son Of The Godfather said...

And I looked, and behold, a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Moore, and hell followed with him.

Son Of The Godfather said...

John Smurfbo: "Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war! You asked me I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win, for somebody who wouldn't let us win! Then I come back to the world, and I see all those maggots at the airport, protestin' me, spittin', callin' me a baby killer and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me?! Huh?! Who are they?! Unless they been me and been there and know what the hell they yellin' about!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Spotting the detonator in the Smurf Splodeydope's left hand, the IDF had no recourse but to take him out.
"SMURFAH ACKBAR!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Gargamel's experiment with pop-rocks and soda went horribly wrong.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Barney the Dinosaur's wrath was horrible, swift and complete.
(and V the K, your #7 is just WRONG!... Nice! :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Have no fear, Sammy Smurf, Sean Penn is en route with his red cup!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Janeane Garsmurfalo laments Air America going down in flames.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tired of trying to understand the difficult Smurf dialect, Picard circumvents the Prime Directive and reigns photonic torpedo death from above.
"Shaka, when the walls fell."

Son Of The Godfather said...

If we hadn't helped out France in WWIII, they'd all be speaking Smurf now.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Artie Lang: "FIYAH!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

When you threaten "jihad" against the Keebler Elves, you better damn well be able to back it up.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Q: What color are Smurfs?
A: Blue! One blew over here, one blew over there...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Methinks I spy the silhouette of a looter Smurf at 3 o'clock.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The image of the raizing of Smurfville is seared, seared into John Kerry's mind.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, somebody give that buried Smurf on the right a hand!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mushroom huts don't burn that well. I'd say that's proof of some pretty volatile chemical storage that the inspectors missed, eh?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sen. George Voinovich (RINO-Ohio) shows how upset he is over the Bolton/UN nomination.

Submariner said...

Considering the high demand and nearly non-existent quantity of Smurfin' poon, Papa just knew that in his "promise of 72 virgins" he had a way to drive the levels of young male Smurfs looking to take a dirt-nap for the cause to astronomical new heights.

Anonymous said...

I always wondered what UNICEF does the OTHER 11 months of the year!

--Next to Last Samurai