Sunday, October 23, 2005

Duct Tape, Oh, Yeah!

1. Next on TLC: Roman Polanski directs a very special Trading Spaces.

2. Peter Parker came to enjoy his job at Home Depot.

3. "Ha! That one didn't even stick in the drywall. You suck at knife-throwing, Billy Bob. Did you hear me? You SUCK!"

4. "And you'll stay there until you stop writing captions implying that Hillary is a homicidal lesbian with OCD."

5. "This bait shall surely lure the minotaur out of the labyrinth."

6. "There! That should teach you to walk in front of the TV when the Packers are down three with third and goal."

7. Acting out scenes from Aliens was decidedly serious kink, but women who dated Bill Maher tended to be low on self-esteem to begin with.

8. "All right, now, don't try to escape again before I'm finished. Anyway, where was I... ah, yes... the other benefits of AmWay..."

9. "I can't believe it! I'm in Hollywood for less than a day and I'm already starring in a snuff movie."

10. "Maybe this'll keep the bitch away from my scotch."

Stolen From: Knowledge Is Power

17 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Holy crap, if you didn't like my Freddy Krueger sweater, you could have just said so!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The new riot-control "Duct Tape" gun would soon replace the Taser.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Those Latter Day Saints chicks will go to great lengths to keep you out of their pants.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Pinhead: "You have foolishly called upon the box in your quest for exquisite agony and pain. Oh, Judy, we have such sights to show you."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Uhm, I don't wanna be a killjoy here, but I think I know how Cindy does her levitation trick."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"HA HA... Pretty funny, right? HA HA Ok, now Cindy, remember how you stole my boyfriend?... HA HA... Well, say hello to Mr. Soaking Sponge and Mrs. Exposed Lamp Wires!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The "Life as Art" fad was to blame when they discovered the remains 3 years later with a plaque inscribed "Naive Hitchhiker".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Though many suspected it was a hoax, people continued to visit the "vision" of the Blessed Virgin on the Smith's gameroom wall.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The evening took a turn for the worse when an argument broke out over whether duct tape was flammable or not.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Stewie: "Relax, strumpet. The last babysitter didn't fare half as well!"

Submariner said...

"Live darts" was a new rage that swept college campuses - briefly. (Wikopedia - Fads; Short-lived)

Submariner said...

Bruce exclaimed, "No! Seriously, Dude. I've NEVER looked longingly at your ripling muscles in the shower... I was just checking to see if anyone wan..., er, NEEDed a rubdown after practice!"


(might be a dude? - check out the apparent sideburns)

Submariner said...

"I don't think that joke is funny, and 'Art' doesn't make sense because I have arms and legs."

"we aren't done yet..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sub,

I thought "female" cuz of painted toenails, but hey, who am I to judge? heh ;)

Submariner said...

See? I TOLD you Bush doesn't care about androgynous life forms!

Van Helsing said...

A decorating notion inspired by Nekromantik. Wall hangings last longer if you hang them when they're still alive.

defjef from the far left said...

kinky