1. Next on TLC: Roman Polanski directs a very special Trading Spaces.
2. Peter Parker came to enjoy his job at Home Depot.
3. "Ha! That one didn't even stick in the drywall. You suck at knife-throwing, Billy Bob. Did you hear me? You SUCK!"
4. "And you'll stay there until you stop writing captions implying that Hillary is a homicidal lesbian with OCD."
5. "This bait shall surely lure the minotaur out of the labyrinth."
6. "There! That should teach you to walk in front of the TV when the Packers are down three with third and goal."
7. Acting out scenes from Aliens was decidedly serious kink, but women who dated Bill Maher tended to be low on self-esteem to begin with.
8. "All right, now, don't try to escape again before I'm finished. Anyway, where was I... ah, yes... the other benefits of AmWay..."
9. "I can't believe it! I'm in Hollywood for less than a day and I'm already starring in a snuff movie."
10. "Maybe this'll keep the bitch away from my scotch."
Stolen From: Knowledge Is Power