Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Dead Hippies! Yay! ... Aw, they're just faking it...

1. "All right! That Reverend Jones guy brought Kool-Aid!"

2. Hippie funk and Taco Bell --- a lethal cocktail.

3. "My pulse will be quickenin'/With each drop of strychinine/When I'm poisoinin'/Hippies in the Park..."

4. Damn. Where's a Caterpillar bulldozer when the gene pool needs one.

5. And when Geena Davis's 'crotch kicking spree' was over, victims lay scattered on the rain-wet pavement.

Best of Submariner
Just some kids that didn't have dinner with Grandma because they were stoned. Nothing to see here. Just move along...

"It was horrible... She just kept muttering "Bear! There!" and capping one hippie after another."

Best of The Man
Is that a scene from the Million Morons March?

Best of catbat
Tragically, shortly after this photo was taken, a VW bug lost control on the damp pavement, skidding through the party and resulting in several bruises.

Best of Right Wing Animator
All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!

Best of ColoradoPatriot
It's happened: They've finally whined themselves to death.

Best of bubbalove
Atop the White House, the President racked another round into his silenced .50 caliber sniper rifle and slowly scanned the crowd, "Now, where is that damn Sheehan..."

Best of Commadore
Seconds later, hot, steaming asphalt was applied to the street and a bulldozer smoothed out the bumps. Moonbeam would regret holding a protest during road construction.

Got it from here, heard about it at Knowledge Is Power

53 comments:

Submariner said...

Once you've completed putting the "St. Pancake" batter together, lay it out in loaves to rise in the sun.

Then, and only then, flatten.

Submariner said...

Michel Moore, flatulence released and looking highly pleased with himself, glanced back a laughed.

The Man said...

Is that a scene from the Million Morons March?

catbat said...

tragically, shortly after this photo was taken, a vw bug lost control on the damp pavement, skidding through the party and resulting in several bruises.

Submariner said...

Sunflower (wrapped in blue tarp thingie) just curled up in a fetal ball, rocked back and forth, and kept muttering over and over,
"Oh damn! Ted Kennedy touched me.
Damn...Ted Kennedy TOUCHED me! Crap! Ted the lard *ss TOUCHED me."

Submariner said...

Mitt Romney chuckled low as he drove the full-sized, gas-guzzlin' Suburban over the hippies. "I love the sound they make when you run over 'em. It's the same as gypsy moth caterpillars!"

(You may need to have spent time in the Northeast to truly appreciate this one...)

Submariner said...

Wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

George Bush doesn't care about free-loading, air-pollutin' liberals.

Submariner said...

Prepping for the special "Independence Day" special effects seen in the new Mike al'Moore schlockumentary.

Submariner said...

Crap! That was supposed to have been:

Prepping for the "Independence Day" special effects scene in the new Mike al'Moore schlockumentary.

Right Wing Animator said...

Apone: All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!

Submariner said...

Dan Rather, "And here's the shocking aftermath of a run into the crowd by the Bush-approved Urban Assault Vehicle.

OK, guys, you can get up now...

What do you mean 'we're still live?' Well, the footage may be fake, but the story is accurate!"

Submariner said...

Guy in the center: "Dammit Ted! Quit drooling on those Prussian Pre-teens, get over here and talk about how Iraq is a quagmire while the camera crews are filming!"

Submariner said...

Just some kids that didn't have dinner with Grandma because they were stoned. Nothing to see here. Just move along...

Submariner said...

Cop 1 to cop 2:
"I don't know... She just kept muttering "Bear! There!" and capping one hippie after another."

Submariner said...

Looking at the one with the abnormally long torso and giant, blue, Smurf feet just to the left of the sign, I wonder if they're trying to recreate a live(?) version of the UN commercial?

Submariner said...

Scene: Oval office, three hours earlier. W on the phone.

"Warden? Yeah, this is him. I'm giving an immediate pardon to that Hinkley guy. And would you tell him a bunch of Jodey Foster's lovers are paradin' in front of the White House? Thanks."

ColoradoPatriot said...

It's happened: They've finally bored themselves to death.

bubbalove said...

Atop the White House, the President smiled as he racked another round into his silenced .50 caliber sniper rifle and slowly scanned the crowd thinking, "Now, where is that damn Sheehan..."

Kevin Walker said...

Seconds later, hot, steaming asphalt was applied to the street and a bulldozer smoothed out the bumps. Moonbeam would regret holding a protest during road construction.

Divine Miss M said...

Million Morons March...The Man is funny!! I can't top that today.

If these morons have no lives and have time to play dead in the street and really want to support their troops, they should be sending care packages and cookies and mowing the lawns of deployed people. Is anyone impressed by this display? Crap, even MY DOG can play dead.

V the K said...

"And when they found out Peter Fitzgerald wasn't issuing any indictments, all the hippies suffered simultaneous brain embolisms and it was the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" --- Karl Rove, Memoirs

Rufus Leaking said...

Where's my bag of toe tags when ya need 'em.

Right Wing Animator said...

And with the destruction of their leader, the mindless undead zombie minions quickly fall back to the ground, the evil energies holdng them together no longer there.
~Excert from Vampire Hunter's guide/Guide to stopping (Insert Moonbat Leader's name here)

Right Wing Animator said...

Soon after the plague, the hippies of the Cadian city rose back from the dead, and...resumed being the rotting, mindless dregs they previously where, acting to help the Chaos Marine legions landing planetside

Anonymous said...

Competition was fierce in the Rachel Corrie look-alike contest.

Anonymous said...

Curb your dog AND your moonbat.

Actually, don't worry about the dog - dog shit on the sideway isn't that bad - but definitely deposit these clowns in the gutter.

Anonymous said...

Er...make that "sidewalk."

PIMF.

Anonymous said...

Looking around at the effect on the audience, Barbara Boxer immediately regretted saying something intelligent.

William Thrash said...

News Reporter: The massive Hippie die-in reached a grim milestone today as the tenth hippie joined in..."

Submariner said...

anonymous: I don't know whether I laughed harder at the general caption, or the very thought that Barbara Boxer could say "something intelligent." Nice.

LinkedInUSAF said...

Did anyone happen to notice how whimpy these trogs are in this photo? Not one of them is willing to get their clothes damp for their cause. Dorks. :)

Old Guy on the purple scarf was overheard saying, "Dang, the cement's so cold and wet the twig-N-berries are now toothpick-N-sprinkles!!!"

catbat said...

the passing ford excursion, however, sailed neatly over the moist speedbumps with nary a difficulty.

LinkedInUSAF said...

AP Article: 15 protestors hit the ground in a flash of brilliance as they soon realized they were actually in front of the White House. Not one of them actually recognized it - seems that they were far more familiar with Red Square.

"Alright, who TOOTED!"

(that's what our girls say, much more lady-like!) :)

LinkedInUSAF said...

"If you put your ear to the ground, you can still hear Bill sneaking out of the White House."

Son Of The Godfather said...

This picture has obviously been cropped. Here, you see only 9 hungover jack-ass protestors. Examination of the original photo (without cropping) reveals an army of... 9 hungover jack-ass protestors.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh, I'm sorry Moonbat family, the correct answer was 'democracy'... yes I thought you almost had it there. But no worries, we're sending you home with your very own copy of Prussian Blue's new tribute album to Cindy Shehan, Israel out of Palestine. Thanks for playing, Moonbat family!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Q: What do you call 9 hippies who have succumbed to bad bong-water?
A: A good start.

Son Of The Godfather said...

PA ANNOUNCER:
"ATTENTION EVERYBODY, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EAT THE BROWN ACID!... UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES... UH OH."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Looks like Code Pink left the potato salad out in the sun too long again.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Grim Milestone":2000 U.S. servicemen dead for a noble cause.
"GRIN Milestone": 20 moonbats play dead for a Nobel cause.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Anyone know the rental rate for a steamroller in Washington?

Son Of The Godfather said...

From the window, the President witnesses the lifeless bodies of the moonbats littering the streets.
"Ah," he surmised, "Rove's new Illudium Q36 explosive space modulator seems to be fully operational!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

If they're supposed to be dead, who put the cushioning under their little moonbat heads?

Son Of The Godfather said...

It probably wasn't the brightest idea to have their flu shots given by Dr. Kevorkian.

Son Of The Godfather said...

And look what happens to the general populace with a West Wing run by Martin Sheen.

Son Of The Godfather said...

President Russel Honore, having traveled back in time with the moonbat antidote, completes the temporal causality loop.

(I can dream, can't I?)

Son Of The Godfather said...

The joke was on the members of the Heaven's Gate cult, when the object was reveled NOT to be the return of comet Hale Bopp, but merely a ladybug on the telescope lens.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Last words of dying moonbat:
"I thought that ice-cream guy looked a little like Rove..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

The world's first case of "multiple brain anneurism" occurred yesterday when the President unexpectedly acquiesced to the protestors demand.
"After careful consideration, my staff and I have decided that yes, the best course of action is to 'bring the troops home'... Through Syria."

Son Of The Godfather said...

And, because I can't leave it at just 49 captions:
"OK, they're all wasted. Get me 4 gallons of epoxy, a shoe horn, hair clippers, 28 bananas, nipple clamps, and a Polaroid camera, stat!"

Van Helsing said...

Having recklessly attended the demo without their tinfoil hats, the protestors were defenseless against Karl Rove's brain-disintegration beam.

Van Helsing said...

Amazingly, when a crucifix was pressed against Cindy Sheehan's forehead, not only did she disintegrate into a cloud of foul-smelling smoke, but the unholy life that animated her moonbat minions was instantly extinguished.

Anonymous said...

See, this makes me wish they'd reopen Pennsylvania Avenue to traffic.