Friday, October 07, 2005

Barepawed and Pregnant

1. "Is that bitch ready with my dinner yet?"

2. "Dude... maybe it's the brownies, but I just saw some weird sh*t in your kitchen."

3. In all fairness, Mr. Chang's instructions to "Put dog on stove, Make food with dog," were open to misinterpretation.

4. "Big deal, you should see the meth lab our cat built in the garage."

5. Apparently, the escort service had seriously screwed up Barney Frank's order for a passive golden shower receiver dressed in a kinky French outfit.

6. "Cat? What cat? We never had a cat? Now, let me finish this nice pot of General Tso's 'chicken.'"

7. "What health code violation? I'm wearing a hair net."

8. When the family discovered they could only afford one pet, Goldie went all out to secure his place in the home by sucking up the master. But Trixie the cat ultimately prevailed by simply adding anti-freeze to Goldie's water dish.

11 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Posted at the Huff'n'Puff Post:
The Federal response was so slow after Katrina that we have reports of dogs eating other dogs!

Son Of The Godfather said...

The stove set to maximum, Chef Rufus bites down on the oven mitt as he displays his ultra-high threshold for pain.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sure, all my buddies get to pose for other pictures shooting pool or playing poker, but WHO do they get for the oh-so-clever 'dog chef' picture?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Torture was even-handed at Abu-Ghraib, with pets of "insurgents" receiving equal billing.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The new Animal Planet sitcom was in jeopardy when the star became pregnant, but writers cleverly scripted situations to 'cover her up'"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I wonder why Master doesn't care for my 'Dog Poop Tofu' with 'ball-lick' seasoning?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Nancy Pelosi gets ready for her doggy-style kitchen fantasy.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Appealing: Pets that can cook.
Not as appealing: Clumps of retriever hair in the stew.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The endless taunting by the drivers of the 'Chuck Wagon' resulted in their horrible fate.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Looks like Timmy pulled Rufus' tail one too many times.

Van Helsing said...

"Who cares what she looks like, so long as she can cook?"