1. "Is that bitch ready with my dinner yet?"
2. "Dude... maybe it's the brownies, but I just saw some weird sh*t in your kitchen."
3. In all fairness, Mr. Chang's instructions to "Put dog on stove, Make food with dog," were open to misinterpretation.
4. "Big deal, you should see the meth lab our cat built in the garage."
5. Apparently, the escort service had seriously screwed up Barney Frank's order for a passive golden shower receiver dressed in a kinky French outfit.
6. "Cat? What cat? We never had a cat? Now, let me finish this nice pot of General Tso's 'chicken.'"
7. "What health code violation? I'm wearing a hair net."
8. When the family discovered they could only afford one pet, Goldie went all out to secure his place in the home by sucking up the master. But Trixie the cat ultimately prevailed by simply adding anti-freeze to Goldie's water dish.