Friday, September 30, 2005

Why Women Shouldn't Take Men on Vacation, Part 1

1. "Get your wang out of me you damn dirty ape!"

2. While Chewie throws out the first pitch, his long time companion Crunchy scores in the Fenway Parking Lot.

3. Andrew Sullivan still insists there are no side-effects from testosterone abuse. The boyfriend begs to differ, which turns him on ... the begging, I mean.

4. What it feels like to be Tom DeLay.

5. A planet where apes evolved from sodomites?

6. Gus Van Sant should NEVER have been allowed to remake King Kong.**

7. As bad as the initiation ritual for becoming a 'Large Mammal' in the TTLB Ecosystem is, the ritual for 'Playful Primate' is much, much worse.

8. "Once you've had gorilla, everything else is vanilla."

9. "Wow! This is even better than the baby tiger and the raccoon combined!"

10. "I'm so glad I moved to Massachussetts!"

** And Chris Columbus should not have been allowed to remake The Shining. (Props: Tattered Coat)

Thanks: Divine Miss M

31 comments:

von said...

This is what we all do in Memphis for fun.

Jonathan said...

Hey, Von! I'm from Memphis, too, man, and that is not what we do for fun! That may be what Mayor Herenton does to us, but it damned sure ain't fun! :)

Jonathan said...

Due to a legal loophole, Vermont's same-sex civil unions didn't specify the species, just the gender. Therefore, Gus and Bongo decided to publicly proclaim their primal (as well as primate) love for each other.

Not exactly what Howard Dean envisioned when he legalized this...

AtlasShrugs.com said...

HA!...........so hysterical
Looking forward to #7 though

;-D
Pamela

occasional reader said...

Danny was startled when his seemingly crass parking lot stunt promptly earned him an NEA grant.

bubbalove said...

Caught in the act in a D.C. suburban parking lot, Al Sharpton reveals the real reason his car didn't stop for miles while those Texas troopers were chasing him a few weeks back...

or...

Once you go White, you know it's Right.

V the K said...

Okay, where the hell is SOTG. Having threads with less than 10 comments wounds my soul! ;-)

Divine Miss M said...

Insert your favorite "Is that a banana in your pocket, or..." joke here.

pm said...

It's a divine miracle. Every time Andrew Sullivan goes #2--- it always comes out looking like Mike Tyson.

Van Helsing said...

To conclude his act, Marvin the Miraculous blows a 600-pound gorilla out his ass.

Frank IBC said...

Actually Sully is a bottom. Or should I say, a "power bottom".

SOTG said...

LOL... Sorry V, they made me actually WORK here... at... work. ;)

OK, here we go...

It was all harmless fun when, at his last boxing match, Jimmy called Mike Tyson "Chakotay" for his facial tattoo... Harmless, that is, until Mike met up with him in the parking lot of the 7-11.

SOTG said...

Ben & Jerry's introduce the revolutionary new "self-serve" Chunky Monkey.

SOTG said...

Throw out your hands
Stick out your tush
Hands on your hips
Give 'em a push
You'll be surprised
You're doing the French Mistake!
Voila!

SOTG said...

Is there ANYTHING Ben Affleck won’t do for money?

SOTG said...

The infamous “deleted gorilla scene” from Trading Places could have made Al Franken a star.

SOTG said...

OK, I have to use it:
“Oh, no. It wasn't the airplanes. It was booty killed the Beast.”
(stop groaning, it had to be done ;)

SOTG said...

Extremely obscure ref:
“Death to the chimp loving whore!”

SOTG said...

The letters behind them were supposed to be in a quote bubble: “IEEEEEE!!!”

SOTG said...

“Owie owie owie owie, owie owie owie,” said the sodomite to the chimp…

SOTG said...

Not as popular at the Megalo-mart: The Monkey-Spunk Slushee.

SOTG said...

The problem was an obstruction in the cavity, later discovered to be Lemiwinks the Hamster King.

SOTG said...

Some say gorilla and human DNA are as close as 98%.
In some instances, it can be said to be closer.

SOTG said...

One of the many submitted designs for the "North American Monkey/Boy Love Association" recruitment poster.

SOTG said...

The infamous “Butt Drillers” arrived a few caption photos late.

SOTG said...

Thrusting: “And THIS is for the RAINFOREST!… And THIS is for the movie ‘CONGO’!”…

SOTG said...

Koko advanced very quickly with his sign language lessons, eventually figuring out rudimentary gay pickup lines.

SOTG said...

If you look closely, that little fellow who pops up in several previous photos can be seen here trying to escape the anal orifice.

SOTG said...

Failed Movie Titles: “MIGHTY JOE YOUNG and Swishy Billie”

SOTG said...

Everybody sing: “Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you!…”

SOTG said...

Markos “screw ‘em” Zuniga of Daily Kos is conceived.