1. "I screwed up the evacuation, I didn't put any supplies in the emergency shelters, I let the streets of my city descend into chaos ... and all I have to do is whine about racism and everybody blames you. It's a beautiful thang, baby!"
2. "All right. You're huge. You win. I admit it. Now, wipe that stupid grin off your face and let's get back to the damage assessment."
3. "Am I a chick magnet? Guilty as charged."
4. Bush is skeptical, but the mayor assures him that in France, a quarter pounder with cheese is called a "Royale" with cheese. Bush agrees that that is "some crazy sh*t."
5. "So, it's settled then. First one to the tree represents the superior race. Ready, set..."
6. "Well, mom didn't really mean that about people in the Astrodome being happier that way since they were underprivileged to begin with. She's kind of 'in and out' if you know what I mean."
7. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, I have to deal with Governor Blanco. In and out and dumb as a bag of hammers."
8. "Sorry, Mr. President, it just cracks me up the way you mispronounce 'mo-fo.'"