Tuesday, September 27, 2005

We'll Return to the Protesting Moonbats, After This PSA From Your Local PBS Station

1. Big Bird salutes the District Attorney after the racketeering charges are dismissed on a technicality.

2. Big Bird lets Al Franken know that stealing money from the boys and girls clubs isn't nice.

3. Today's episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U.'

4. Big Bird was extremely pissed off to find out that the hooker he picked up was actually a dude.

5. Big Bird never forgave Bert and Ernie for tricking him into being Grand Marshall at the Pride Parade.

6. Big Bird's drinking problems were well known at the CTW, but the general public only became aware during the procession for Mr Rogers funeral.

7. After Congress eliminated funding for public broadcasting, Sesame Street was taken over by HBO, and the writers reveled in their new, uncensored, freedom of expression.

8. Whenever he goes back to the hood, The Notorious BB tries to keep it real for his homies.

9. "What do I think about the fact that Bill Moyers gets chauffered to work in a Hummer H2 limo and I have to ride in the back seat of a Neon convertible? Let me put it this way."

10. "Hey, Cokie... f--- you!" At first, Big Bird was crushed when Cokie Roberts dumped him to become Dick Cheney's sex toy. Now, he's just bitter.

Hat Tip: Aridog at Discarded Lies

11 comments:

Van Helsing said...

Sometimes it seems there is no one the degenerate environment of the entertainment industry won't corrupt.

SOTG said...

In a remarkable shot, the rock traveled through the extended finger and into his right temple. The victim expired immediately. This was a prime example of killing two birds with one stone.

SOTG said...

"I just came from the naked anti-war protest in D.C. and am about to plunge THIS finger into THIS eye."

SOTG said...

Arianna Huffington caught in a candid moment when a reporter asks her to say "Holly Burton"

SOTG said...

"Mr.Bird! Mr.Bird! Can you comment on reports that the avian flu is expanding?"

SOTG said...

On his "downtime", B.Bird enjoyed cruisin' for chicks.

SOTG said...

In a surprise guest part, Big Bird appears on this season's Sopranos as "Guido the Nugget"

SOTG said...

"Guido the McNugget"... sounded funnier.

SOTG said...

"Hey Bird! I got a worm for ya! HA HA!"

SOTG said...

One of the many abnormalities associated with global warming: Gi-normous Canary Punks.

Submariner said...

Magic could not help but point out to Larry how far he had let himself go since their glory days as competitors.

Larry simply responded in a base, universally understood way.