1. "No, smoking pot will not make you shrink. It's just a matter of altered perception... dude."
2. "This sh*t's no good. I smoked a whole bowl and I still don't believe Bush ordered helicopters to strafe black people in New Orleans."
3. "Wow, Martha Stewart was right. The brownies do pack a better punch if you boil out the THC in butter instead of just throwing in the buds."
4. The 'Air America' Accounting Department celebrates the clearing of another check.
5. "Dude, it's come to our attention that you only want to drum show tunes and Madonna's dance hits. Is there, like, something you're trying to tell us, Dude?"
6. "Hey, some of Mother Sheehan's followers just suggested a name for our movement. Ascendant, Rising Youth Against a Neocon Nation. 'ARYAN Nation' I think it sounds cool!"
7. "These are what we call the giggling stoners, pretty common form of hippies, usually found in attics. Problem is, if you see one hippy, theres probably a whole lot more you don't see. Where's the back yard?... Yeah, that's what I thought. You see that? You got a drum-circle in your backyard."
8. "I don't understand it, man, I drummed as hard as I could. I drummed like I have never drummed before...and John Kerry still lost."
9. "DOWN WITH THE BUSHITLER FASCIST REGIME! UP WITH DORITOS! YEA! DORITOS!"
10. "Check it out. Sean Penn is trying to bail out our bongwater."
Yeah, that's my alma mater. I'm so proud. Story and Photo: Detroit News