Monday, September 12, 2005

"They're not people, they're hippies!"

1. "No, smoking pot will not make you shrink. It's just a matter of altered perception... dude."

2. "This sh*t's no good. I smoked a whole bowl and I still don't believe Bush ordered helicopters to strafe black people in New Orleans."

3. "Wow, Martha Stewart was right. The brownies do pack a better punch if you boil out the THC in butter instead of just throwing in the buds."

4. The 'Air America' Accounting Department celebrates the clearing of another check.

5. "Dude, it's come to our attention that you only want to drum show tunes and Madonna's dance hits. Is there, like, something you're trying to tell us, Dude?"

6. "Hey, some of Mother Sheehan's followers just suggested a name for our movement. Ascendant, Rising Youth Against a Neocon Nation. 'ARYAN Nation' I think it sounds cool!"

7. "These are what we call the giggling stoners, pretty common form of hippies, usually found in attics. Problem is, if you see one hippy, theres probably a whole lot more you don't see. Where's the back yard?... Yeah, that's what I thought. You see that? You got a drum-circle in your backyard."

8. "I don't understand it, man, I drummed as hard as I could. I drummed like I have never drummed before...and John Kerry still lost."

9. "DOWN WITH THE BUSHITLER FASCIST REGIME! UP WITH DORITOS! YEA! DORITOS!"

10. "Check it out. Sean Penn is trying to bail out our bongwater."

Yeah, that's my alma mater. I'm so proud. Story and Photo: Detroit News

25 comments:

SOTG said...

Due to a typo in the music sheets, the well meaning "peaceniks" in New Orleans, while meaning to summon the God of Love, instead accidently perform a Hopi Rain Dance and reflood the city.

SOTG said...

"Come on, man... drumming's so easy, even a caveman could do it!"

Caveman drummer: "NOT cool, man!"

Walks off

SOTG said...

They save all that money on soap and shampoo, and they can only afford potato sack shirts?

SOTG said...

Giant-sized Captain Kirk lands a well placed karate-chop to the leader of the hippie clan. Eden would have to wait.

SOTG said...

"The Blair Stench Project"

SOTG said...

What really happens when you win the INXS contract on that TV show...

SOTG said...

The middle hippie was shrunk by natives, cursed by an evil shaman, and ended up chasing Karen Black around her apartment with his spear. (who got that one? ;)

SOTG said...

"Who Let The Clogs Out?"

SOTG said...

"Oh yeah, I think I see it now, Kevin... Is that a Hellfire missile?"

SOTG said...

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Stinky

SOTG said...

The "slightly-less-developed" Ewoks of Endor

SOTG said...

Dip-Dip-Dip-Dip-Dip-Dip-Dip-Dip/Dun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun/Get a job.

SOTG said...

Kyle thought it was amusing to demonstrate his Wookie cry during the hippie prayer. (sorry for the double Star Wars refs!)

freelancer-jdub said...

"I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I don’t want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day"

SOTG said...

"Ahhhh Ha Ha Ha HA!... Hopi Rain Dance!.... Ha Ha Ha Ha!... That's some funny shit, man! Ha Ha Ha Ha!... Uhm... What were we talking about?"

SOTG said...

All we are sayyyyyyying/
Is give fleas a chaaaaaance...

SOTG said...

Wanna see 'em scurry? Toss in a bar of Irish Spring.

SOTG said...

Holy Shnikes! Look what happened to the Dixie Chicks after they dis'd the president!

Van Helsing said...

In nonelection years, the Democratic National Convention is held in Ann Arbor.

Submariner said...

In a surprising turn of events, the Dixie Chicks learn that within the confines of the continental US, Karl Rove's mind control transfiguration waves can only be blocked with proper tinfoil hattage...

SOTG said...

Marshall, Will and Holly knew their influence in this strange world would have a significant impact once they saw Chaka playing the bongos.

bubbalove said...

As the drumbeats reached the crescendo, the ghost of Bob Marley appeared in a flash of reefer smoke and smell of B.O.!

SOTG said...

"More cowbell!"

SOTG said...

"Duuuude!... This is so coool!... I have this exhaust pipe lodged in my sternum and I can't even feel it!... I'm baked!"

Divine Miss M said...

I'm glad to see that kids today still like going through Grandma's attic, dressing up in the old clothes, and playing with the toys!