Sunday, September 25, 2005

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

1. "Yeah, that's right, a freakin' Hay Maze. Jerry Seinfeld is like the cheapest date ever."

2. "I must, I must, I must increase my bust..."

3. "Oh, so mommy meant this kind of bale. I thought Daddy's meth lab got busted again."

4. "Run! Donald Trump's got a pitchfork, and he says he's going to go 'American Gothic' on our asses."

5. "Hey, it's working. Weekend-Dad is lying on the ground screaming 'My eyes! My eyes!' Let's stick some needles in the scarecrow's crotch next."

6. "Oh, look, there's that creepy Scott Ritter guy. He'll pay ten bucks if you lift up your top and let him take pictures."

7. "Don't tell me you're not the least bit creeped out that these straw bales are laid out in the form of swastikas?"

8. "Being children of the straw is okay, I guess, but those Children of the Corn really seem to be having a good time."

9. "Well, enjoy it while you can, sis. But soon, Winter will be here, and we'll have to get back to haunting The Overlook."

10. "There goes another truckload of chickens to the processing plant, where big men with huge, sharp knives slowly slit the chickens' throats and let the blood run across the floors in little rivers, blood splattering on the feathers and the men's smooth, glistening bodies, blood everywhere, blood and feathers, feathers and blood..."

From: Here


Divine Miss M said...

Dakota Fanning stars in a rural re-make of "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane."

Van Helsing said...

If only he had dropped the camera and warned Suzy to look where she was going, the collision might have been avoided. At least now it should be clear to everyone why legislation is needed to require children to wear helmets at all times.

bubbalove said...

"Quick Ruth, run to the shelter! There's a Palestinian suicide bomber coming for us!

ColoradoPatriot said...

Dude! This is some of the best hash I've ever had. And we're, like, surrounded by it! Man, I think we're lost. I dunno how we're gonna get out of here...

occasional reader said...

"And you said using magic spells to bring Mr. Scarecrow and Little Wizard to life would be just a game! A GAME!... RUN FASTER, THEY'RE GAINING ON US!!!"