Monday, September 26, 2005

Scenes From A Moron Fest II

1. "Yes, ma'am, it is amazing that technology can pack so much feminine pleasure into such a compact package. Now, could you please stop waving it in my face?"

2. "Ma'am, I'm not going to question whether raising your son with your life partner 'Gina' has any effect on your son's social development, except to point out the fact that he's voguing exactly like Christina Aguilera."

3. "No, ma'am, I am not going to subject you to a full body cavity search... not before you take, I don't know, at least eight or nine showers."

4. "Oh, yeah, this is crowd is HUGE, it's SO BIG, I don't know if I can handle such a MASSIVE THROBBING Crowd... Ha! How do you like it when your sarcastic innuendo is turned on you... Whore!"

5. "Do you always make your son wear that 'Grrl Powrr' hat? I bet he gets his ass kicked daily."

6. "I have no problem with you, ma'am. Bruce, on the other hand, is from the fashion police and is writing you a ticket for wearing pink chinos with a red T-shirt."

7. "Well, ma'am, what did you expect when you agreed to let your son spend the night at the Neverland Ranch?"

8. Later, the mother would pull her son aside. "Son, I'm afraid the American people are still indifferent to the evil, oppressive Bushitler Regime. The time has come for the ultimate act of consciousness raising. Are you familiar with the name, 'Mohammed al-Dura?'"

9. "Oh, come on, officer... can't we settle this parking ticket with a little... personal ... interaction?" "Sorry, Amy, bringing the kid kinda spoils the fantasy. I'm taking the uniform back to the shop and hittin' the bars."

10. "No, ma'am, you're not in trouble. Congressman Barney Frank just wanted to know if your son would be interested in an internship position."

Photo Fairly Used From: Getty Images

9 comments:

SOTG said...

"Here's a quote for ya... If I had my way, you idiots would all be swallowin' teeth!"

SOTG said...

"You have a permit to be Stuck On Stupid?"

SOTG said...

"Ma'am, dousing your son in petroulli oil is no substitute for a shower. You can have him lower his arms."

SOTG said...

"That's right, your little queer boy here has it right... When we come in swinging batons, that is the only position that will make us stop... Eventually"

SOTG said...

Kris was elated by the officer's comments.

"Now I have PROOF to post on my website! Fascists pigs! How DARE he demand we have a peaceful protest! It's like Nazi Germany!"

Van Helsing said...

Maybe home schooling isn't such a good idea after all.

bubbalove said...

"Dammit people, listen to me! We have a warning just in straight from DARPA! When Sheehan's head finally implodes, the vortex will destroy everything within a 10-mile radius of the epicenter! Run! RUUUNNNN!!"

Submariner said...

Look, I'm trying my damnedest to follow FDR's advice; I'm walking softly. I'm carrying this here big stick. But if/when I find the spawn of some moonbat with a sign saying negative things about the President, I'm liable to go medieval on his head with this here stick...

Kevin Walker said...

submariner: isn't it suppose to be "Look, I'm trying my damnedest to follow TR's advise..."

Just point it out. The rest was good.