1. "Yes, ma'am, it is amazing that technology can pack so much feminine pleasure into such a compact package. Now, could you please stop waving it in my face?"
2. "Ma'am, I'm not going to question whether raising your son with your life partner 'Gina' has any effect on your son's social development, except to point out the fact that he's voguing exactly like Christina Aguilera."
3. "No, ma'am, I am not going to subject you to a full body cavity search... not before you take, I don't know, at least eight or nine showers."
4. "Oh, yeah, this is crowd is HUGE, it's SO BIG, I don't know if I can handle such a MASSIVE THROBBING Crowd... Ha! How do you like it when your sarcastic innuendo is turned on you... Whore!"
5. "Do you always make your son wear that 'Grrl Powrr' hat? I bet he gets his ass kicked daily."
6. "I have no problem with you, ma'am. Bruce, on the other hand, is from the fashion police and is writing you a ticket for wearing pink chinos with a red T-shirt."
7. "Well, ma'am, what did you expect when you agreed to let your son spend the night at the Neverland Ranch?"
8. Later, the mother would pull her son aside. "Son, I'm afraid the American people are still indifferent to the evil, oppressive Bushitler Regime. The time has come for the ultimate act of consciousness raising. Are you familiar with the name, 'Mohammed al-Dura?'"
9. "Oh, come on, officer... can't we settle this parking ticket with a little... personal ... interaction?" "Sorry, Amy, bringing the kid kinda spoils the fantasy. I'm taking the uniform back to the shop and hittin' the bars."
10. "No, ma'am, you're not in trouble. Congressman Barney Frank just wanted to know if your son would be interested in an internship position."
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