1. "Preparations A through G were complete failures, but I think Preparation H feels good, on the whole."
2. "Pull your finger? In front of my solar-fusion-ignition device? That could wipe out a four-state area."
3. "Told you I could slam a six-pack, strip naked, and climb up one of those things. Now, pay up!"
4. "Hey, those Borg seemed like pretty nice fellas. Besides, their 'Assimilation Cube' will bring a lot of jobs to this area."
5. "A photo-op that looks like a 1980's Depeche Mode album cover? The Gen-Xers ought to dig that."
6. "All I wanted was a simple 'Resettlement Camp' where I could temporarily relocate my political opposition to after the coup in 2007, and you Halliburton dinguses build some freakin' Space Age Taj Mahal."
7. "Apparently, Bill Gates's House became self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern Time on August 29th. Why is this a problem again? Can't we just pull the plug? Check with FEMA."
8. "They say they want 'Energon Cubes' or they'll destroy the planet. What the Hell is an 'Energon Cube?' Get FEMA on that."
9. "This is the most powerful solar generator ever built, creating enough electrocity to run an electric football game... if it's not cloudy out."
10. "'Weather Machine?' Yeah, right. 'Direct massively destructive hurricanes to any point on Earth' What a maroon! '$100 Mil or he wipes New Orleans off the map!' What kind of a sucker does he think I am?"
11. "All those billions. And all we find out is that the g*dd*mned aliens look like Jodie Foster's father! Screw that!"