Saturday, September 03, 2005

One Came My Way

1. Due to his ambiguous skin tone, the AP spent hours debating whether he had "looted" the beer, or merely "found" the beer.

2. The carjacking of Homer Simpson.

3. The man would later blame being pulled over for his DUI on "Racial Profiling."

4. The man sat on the hood and pondered his life. "If only I had stayed in school, kept a job, I could have moved into a better neighborhood and looted Sam Adams and Tsingtao into the back of a Volvo Station Wagon."

5. "I should get a gun," the man thought. "I don't want some thieving a-hole to steal this beer from me."

6. "So, was there anything else your mom wanted us to bring?"

7. An engineer looks at this picture and thinks only, "If they had stacked the beer to take maximum advantage of the interior volume of the trunk, they could have easily doubled their haul." *

8. "Delivery for Mr. Kennedy? Mr. Ted Kennedy?"

9. "Man, I tell you what. You don't loot beer, you just borrow it."

10. "G-ddam busybody social-workers callin' me an unfit parent. I'll show 'em. I'll show 'em all!"

Real Caption

* C.J.'s Idea


Van Helsing said...

What else but racism could explain this poor guy having to loot light beer? He was probably even forced to drink it warm.

Rodney Dill said...

Dang it, I forgot to steal the gas.

Citizen Grim said...

hahaha, I love the Engineer and Ted Kennedy ones

Divine Miss M said...

Rusty Wallace didn't know whether to shake the guy's hand or slap him upside the head.

Jonathan said...

Somehow, I think the concept behind MTV's Pimp My Ride was lost on this guy.

Mike's America said...

Hey Thanks... I needed a laugh.

I tell you that if I ever looted beer, I would certainly go for a better brand. But maybe the guy keeps the good stuff inside the car.

lawhawk said...

Dude.... Where's my car?

Oh, there it is. And this numbnut's filled it with Lite Beer? Damnit to hell, the adjusters are gonna call it a total wreck.