Sunday, September 25, 2005

Oh, the Habitat for Humanity

1. "Yeah, well, there was an old Indian burial ground, and a cemetery from where some old religious cult committed mass suicide, but we bull-dozed the headstones and we're good to go."

2. "You're right. Building your own house does give you a feeling a pride you can't get from butchering the previous residents and hiding their bodies in the crawlspace. Thanks, Habitat for Humanity."

3. "Aw, Hell, here comes another bored, horny suburban hausfrau in a lace teddy... Oh, wait, no, that's Barney Frank."

4. "And we spray paint 'Global Rights' 'No War for Oil' and 'Bush=Hitler' on every house in this subdivision, every worker will convert to our anti-war cause!"

5. "Oh, Dread, here comes Bruce. I swear to God if he comes up and says 'Got wood?' again, there's a nail-gun around here with his name on it."

6. "Hey, Mike, ever played mumbletypeg with a nail gun?"

7. To see this page without frames, Click here.

8. "That Andrew Sullivan is one committed homeowner. He watches the crew like a hawk, and even offers to towel us off when we get sweaty."

9. "The story on the new man? Well, he works cheap, the arson charges were dismissed all three times on a technicality, and his pyromania is regulated with medication. What could go wrong?"

10. "OMG, Jimmy Carter's whacked out on paint thinner and trying to walk across the top beam naked... twenty bucks says he doesn't make it."

4 comments:

Ridor said...

STupid comments.

R-

SOTG said...

I'm board. Get it?

Van Helsing said...

"We got to hurry up and get this house up before Jimmy Carter shows up with a camera crew in tow and offers to 'help.'"

Anonymous said...

And the ever-applicable:

"Yo, Kobe! Over here - I'm open, man."