1. "I'm a fat-assed freak/A hog without restraining/My appetite is immense/cos, oh, me so hungry/ Oh, me so hungry/Oh, me so hungry/Me shite a long time..."
2. "Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will all suffer for this outrage."
3. "But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair will always be tragically skewed."
4. "Yo... (wheeze) ... Kobe ... (gasp)... over here (gasp wheeze)... I'm... (drops dead from a massive coronary)..."
5. "And to save money making my Katrina documentary, we re-used clips from I Am Sam for Sean Penn's scenes. Test audiences couldn't tell the difference."
6. "Can you spare fifty cents a day to help a starving child in Africa? I'm Sally Struthers, for Feed the Children..."
7. "And then I said, 'Do I want to supersize those? Take a guess, wage slave!'"
8. "5,000 relief meals missing? I don't (burp) know anything about that."
9. Because test audience became physically nauseated as Michael Moore rubbed the burger over his scantily-clad body while he sang,"Thinkin' of you's workin' up an appetite/Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight..." Hardee's decided to go with another Paris Hilton commercial instead.
10. "Yep, I ate the Church Lady and stole her glasses. Isn't that special?"
From: MSNBC on a tip from The Corner