1. Why do so many 'Ebony and Ivory' duets end in fistfights?
2. "Aw, c'mon, baby! Why should Jesse Jackson get all the inter-racial erotic back massages?"
3. "Listen, if we keep fighting like this, we're never going to break out of the fat chick's gravitational field!"
4. "Well, I say Gandhi could have kicked MLK's ass in a cage fight even without eye-gouging! So there!"
5. "Shouldn't we stop fighting and focus on the real enemy... The Judean People's Front!"
6. Jake Gyllenhall was hopelessly miscast in the role of Ike Turner.
7. "Let the anger flow! It is your destiny to join the Dark Side!"
8. "Okay, stop it you guys. I was just yanking your chains. We've got plenty of pot."
9. "J is for Jason, whose eyes were scratched out, K is for Keneesha, who was smacked all about..." --- Edward Gorey, The Gashlycrumb Moonbats.
10. "Two moonbats enter! One moonbat leaves! Two moonbats enter! One moonbat leaves!"
11. "Well, I say the Amazing Pink Land Whale is the most hideous protester ever!" "Well, I say the Inflated Scrotum Guy is the most hideous protester ever!" "Whale!" "Scrotum!" "Whale!" "Scrotum!"
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