Thursday, September 29, 2005

Moron Festival V: The Final Frontier of Idiocy

1. Why do so many 'Ebony and Ivory' duets end in fistfights?

2. "Aw, c'mon, baby! Why should Jesse Jackson get all the inter-racial erotic back massages?"

3. "Listen, if we keep fighting like this, we're never going to break out of the fat chick's gravitational field!"

4. "Well, I say Gandhi could have kicked MLK's ass in a cage fight even without eye-gouging! So there!"

5. "Shouldn't we stop fighting and focus on the real enemy... The Judean People's Front!"

6. Jake Gyllenhall was hopelessly miscast in the role of Ike Turner.

7. "Let the anger flow! It is your destiny to join the Dark Side!"

8. "Okay, stop it you guys. I was just yanking your chains. We've got plenty of pot."

9. "J is for Jason, whose eyes were scratched out, K is for Keneesha, who was smacked all about..." --- Edward Gorey, The Gashlycrumb Moonbats.

10. "Two moonbats enter! One moonbat leaves! Two moonbats enter! One moonbat leaves!"

11. "Well, I say the Amazing Pink Land Whale is the most hideous protester ever!" "Well, I say the Inflated Scrotum Guy is the most hideous protester ever!" "Whale!" "Scrotum!" "Whale!" "Scrotum!"


Photo Fairly Used From: Getty Images

16 comments:

SOTG said...

"No, the magically floating text is not racist, Janice... It says getty images, NOT ghetto images!"

SOTG said...

The protesters were all about peace and harmony, but Jason and Keneesha's rendition of "Endless Love" had everyone confused.

SOTG said...

They knew they were meant to be together when the gas they each had been holding onto for hours was explosively released, simultaneously into the open.

SOTG said...

In this rare photograph, Robin Quivers and Babba Booey prepare for their first on-camera kiss.

SOTG said...

As you can clearly make out 10 people in this photograph, using "AP math", we can extrapolate at least 500,000 attendees at the protest march.

SOTG said...

"George Bush doesn't care about the mentally challenged!"

SOTG said...

Girl in back: "Whoah dudes... Either I'm way stoned, or you sound just like Captain and Tenile... Nah... Just call me 'Alaska', cuz I'm BAKED!"

SOTG said...

"...And now I'm praying for the end of time/to hurry up and arrive/cuz if I gotta spend another moment with you/I don't think that I can really survive/I'll never break my promise, or forget my vow/but God only knows what I can do right now/so I'm praying for the end of time/so I can end my time with you..."

SOTG said...

In order for the Goa'uld symbiote to pass from one moonbat to another, it was found that pot smoke exhaled at the same time was the easiest path.

SOTG said...

Apologies to the Osmonds:

Her: I'm a little bit moonbat...
Him: I'm a little bit rock n' roll...
Her: I've got plenty of whining for you to hear...
Him: She's got no morals, I've got no soul...

SOTG said...

Is it me, or is there a really tiny person appearing in some of the photos? You can see him here, too, about to claw the face of the girl in the middle. What IS that thing? Is it the scientist's little helper from South Park? Is it Rosemary's baby? It's freakin' me out, man!

AM42 said...

Dammit sotg! Now, I'm going to have that Meatloaf song in my head all day...

Targetpractice said...

"Here we see two Moonbatis socialus familiaris, or the common Liberal Moonbat, engaging in their mating dance. Few folks get the opportunity to see it happen in nature, but when they do, the experience is extraordinary...as well as disgusting."

Join us next week on National Geographic, when we go in search of the rare and mysterious Moderate Muslim.

V the K said...

Just FYI: The Getty caption indicates that the dude on the right is actually on the pro-Freedom side, and he's arguing with a moonbat anti-war activist. I thought there was more comedic potential in treating them both as moonbats, but I need to be fair to the guy.

Van Helsing said...

Pretending they're both moonbats:

They thought the high notes would shatter the Washington Monument when they sang "Give Peace a Chance" in falsetto. But all they managed to do was make a nearby dog whimper in pain.

SOTG said...

LOL Sorry alphamu42. The arguing moonbat inspired me to go back to my high school years... But that was long ago, and it was far away, and it was so much better than it is today. ;)