Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Moron Festival IV: The One With The Whale

1. "I can't believe that shoe salesman wouldn't shut up about the time he scored four touchdowns in his last game for Polk High."

2. She used to have a navel piercing, but the sparks it created by dragging on the pavement ignited too many grass fires.

3. "Mmmmmmm.... brains."

4. "No War for Oil, War for Twinkies, Okay."

5. Ted Kennedy's scheme to attend the Anti-War Rally incognito was spoiled when he was mistaken for a giant, papier-mache puppethead.

6. Jacques Cousteau narration: "Patiently, ze giant pink land whale stalks its prey."

7. She says she's retaining water. We better hope that levee of cellulite holds or DC is gonna get Katrina'd.

8. People who shop Navy Surplus for sexual appliances, next on Springer.

9. "Dammit, where are Tyrone and LeRoy with my lunch!"

10. Now I understand where Move-On got its figure of 300,000 protesters; they weighed her.

11. The woman Hillary stands next to when she wants to look thinner.

12. The woman the planet Jupiter stands next to when it wants to look thinner.

From Van Helsing

50 comments:

SOTG said...

Michael Moore, seen here relaxing in his mu-mu, reaches for another Oreo.

SOTG said...

Obscure reference time:
Is that Chet after Kelly LeBrock did her magic on 'im?

SOTG said...

Worst.Job.Ever?
Shamu's gynocologist.

SOTG said...

"Just one more mint?... It's wafer thin... LOOK OUT!"

SOTG said...

Did this one eat the previous aqua-green one?

SOTG said...

She may not have brains, but she definitely has barbeque!

SOTG said...

Can it mold itself to look like the bench like Odo?

SOTG said...

It's the Gorgon!

Hail, hail,
Fire and snow.
Call the angel
We will go.

Far away.
For to see.
Friendly Angel
Come to me.

Hail, hail,
Fire and snow.
Call the angel
We must go.

Far to come
Far to see
Friendly Angel
Come to me.

SOTG said...

Didn't we already have this picture a few days ago?... Side of a hill in Italy?

Tomslick said...

Damn V, you are one sick individual.
Please don't change lol.

Tomslick said...

All we are saying
Is give FUPA a chance.

Reaganite said...

"Peace takes brains... I just wish mine weren't hanging around my ankles"

Divine Miss M said...

"I'll take 'Things You Don't Want to See Twice in a Lifetime' for $1,000, Alex."

V the K said...

Welcome reaganite. You honor us.

The Man said...

Come on, I bet she has a great personality.

Anonymous said...

Peace takes brains...over-eating, however, apparently does not.

Anonymous said...

Isn't this a Save The Whales demo? I feel such...kinship with them.

Anonymous said...

Hey Osama, here's virgin #1 for ya.

Anonymous said...

Warn people in low-lying areas if Miss "Peace Takes Brains" takes a bath. One slip, and it's telethon time.

Passionate Conservative said...

Oh. My. God.

dave said...

I'll give you $5 if you peek under my belly for the camera.

no takers?

whoa, just discusted myself!

Van Helsing said...

It's nice to see that Michael Moore's date to protest shaved her belly for the occasion.

E-HO said...

LOL!!! that gut is unreal.

Anonymous said...

The Viagra antidote, on the hoof.

Anonymous said...

Code Pink was a typo. It should be Code "Oink."

von said...

SUUUUUWWWWEEEEE!!!

Mary had a really hard day after her gyno told her that he just couldn't see her anymore.

Cybrludite said...

There goes my appitite... for the next year.

/obscure movie quote

SOTG said...

In Quagmire voice:
"Giggitty giggitty, I'd hit that, oh yeah!"

SOTG said...

"George Bush doesn't care about unsightly corpulent pink androgynous people!"

SOTG said...

After weeks of hinting, Markos "screw 'em" Zunigas finally reveals his Top Secret Plan to destroy the BLT... errr... DLC.

SOTG said...

...And if bulbous rolls of flab were brains, the entire galaxy would be at peace.

SOTG said...

"Violet, you're turning violet!"

SOTG said...

Obscure ref AND a stretch:
Even more notorious than incarceration, the "insurgents" could be made to talk by merely the suggestion that we send them to Abu (Gilbert) Grape for punishment.

SOTG said...

I want my truck to be made out of whatever that bench is put together with.

SOTG said...

"War is not the answer"... but apparently double cheese and double mayo are. (too much like #4? :)

SOTG said...

"Hey, come on... The camera adds 10 pounds!"

"Well then, there must be about 50 cameras on ya."

SOTG said...

When she sits around the peace protest, she REALLY sits around...

SOTG said...

Tennis shoes?!?... Can you imagine it playing tennis?!?

SOTG said...

Obscure movie quote w/twist:
David Bowman: "My God, it's full of [candy] bars!"

SOTG said...

First we had a picture of Big Bird flippin' us off, now we get Snuffleuphugus enjoying a lower belly tan. This episode brought to you by the letter "ACK!"

SOTG said...

It was sad what happened to Mary Mapes after the Rathergate incident.

SOTG said...

C.O.D.E.P.I.N.K.:

Cause
Of
Drooping
Elephant
Parts
Is
Not
Known

Whoopsie-Daisey said...

None of those little gilrs' toys for me; I use a Mk 48 Torpedo!

Targetpractice said...

The moonbats were delighted when Jabba the Hutt made a surprise appearance at the rally.

Upon viewing this image, Ford Prefect announced his latest revision to the "Earth" entry of the Hitchhiker's Guide: "Mostly harmles and utterly disgusting."

ColoradoPatriot said...

"I, on the other hand, will take a Double-Whopper combo, three large extra orders of onion rings, a couple of those Croissan'wiches, and a medium diet Coke"

Anonymous said...

"It's true, bright colors do make you look heavier."

ColoradoPatriot said...

Hell, good one...wish I'd have come up with something along the lines of "Damn, I should have worn the vertical striped mumu, it's much more slimming."

cathy said...

michael moores birth picture

phat said...

To the small moonbat walking by:

"GET INNA MAH BELLY!"

Jonathan said...

"When I get on the scales, they read 'To be continued'? Very funny, you little brats! Let's see how funny it is when I drown you in a vat of hot sauce before putting you 'IN MAH BELLY'!"