Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Moron Festival II: The Wrath of Commies


1. Sunflower loved the birds so much, she wore a target on her head.

2. Sunflower tried to work up her courage, "Her boots say 'I like womyn,' but the dress says, 'but maybe this is a phase.' Maybe I should play it safe and see what's available at the NARAL booth."

3. Where's Waldo? I'm thinking he's lying in ditch after those two punk rock chicks rolled him and stole his shirt.

4. (And CJ says) "Yo, Heidi, the freaks here favor the Salvation Army Dumpster diver look, so why don't you march your clodhoppers back to Oktoberfest."

5. Peace activists do not require pheromones to recognize another member of the hive. The reak of bongwater and cat pee is good enough.

6. "Mother Sheehan is being carried away... and so is my heart!"

7. "All right, fine then! Ignore me! Go back to your bourgeois lifestyle with your 'job' and your 'soap' and your 'personal hygiene.'"

8. Wicca is a religion whose tenets include extreme respect for the natural world and dying your hair the color of fiberglass insulation.

9. "Get lost, Amber. When I wear the Germain barmaid outfit, I'm cruising for 'sausage.' Check back when you see me in a Taco Bell uniform."

9. "She's pretty. I think I'll leave the skin on her when I'm done."

From Narley on a Tip From Van Helsing

17 comments:

Rufus Leaking said...

Does that hair color appear in nature?

Cybrludite said...

Only in anime universes, Rufus.

SOTG said...

The line lost all it's humorous intent when it was discovered that yes, some people DO get dressed in the dark.

SOTG said...

Inspired by an Adam Sandler SNL skit, the girls readied themselves for Halloween by dressing up as "Scary Peppermint Butt Girl" and the "Bubblegum Hair Avenger".

SOTG said...

Holy shit, that e-harmony doesn't lie when they claim to match up folks based on a multitude of criteria!

SOTG said...

"I don't know what happened!... We were getting stoned in Italy, and we come to this giant marshmallow bunny on the side of a hill... After a couple of hours ofa free-for-all munchie-fest, Sharon says, "Hey, your hair looks a little different." I didn't think much of it at the time, cuz, you know, I was stoned...

SOTG said...

And the answer is:
NO, you should never freebase Pepto Bismal.

SOTG said...

The hair is kooky, but the outfits are just "crossing the streams" bad

SOTG said...

Ever since they opened up the wormhole to free-trade, Quark's bar has seen some interesting visitors.

SOTG said...

If he plays his cards the right way, some lucky guy is just a "Buck Fush" t-shirt away from dual-crazy-bisexual-multicolored-pirate-chick love.

SOTG said...

Famous movie quote dual usage for anti-war protests: "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy"

ColoradoPatriot said...

Courtney Love wasn't sure if it was the drugs or a sign from God, but when her troll doll came to life, she knew just where to take it...

Rufus Leaking said...

If we do away with the military, we're gonna have a HUGE supply of these o/d jackets!

Van Helsing said...

Ever since she chewed the radioactive bubblegum that made her hair turn pink, Suzie has had to look for friends in new places.

Cybrludite said...

All that said, unless she's a real "butterface", I'd have no problems with doing the pink haired one...

SOTG said...

cybrludite:
Let us know if the rug matches the drapes. ;)

SOTG said...

"You are a smelly pirate hooker!"