Tuesday, September 27, 2005

More From the Moron Festival, I

1. Well, I see someone's not missing out on too many SuperSized Combo Meals on account of the war.

2. Now, we see what Blair would have looked like if The Facts of Life had lasted another season.

3. "...A fat woman came into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich sign saying 'Don't shoot, from the front I look human.'"

4. "I'm on a hunger strike for World Peace. Come back in Spring 2008 and see if I'm thinner."

5. Which protest group do you think she's from? I'm guessing M-o-o-o-o-ve-On.

6. If she's with International ANSWER, then the International QUESTION must be: "Can I SuperSize that for you?"

7. Ah, an anti-war protest. The only place on Earth where the smell is better down-wind of the Port-A-Potties.

8. What do you mean she's not that big? There's another moonbat in orbit around her?

9. "Fred Phelps called me a 'hellbound Sapphist' and plunged this cross into my forehead. I know there's a number I should call for this kind of emergency but... it's just gone."

10. Her elastic failed, and people bailed.

From Narley on a Tip From Van Helsing

36 comments:

SOTG said...

The grasshopper never saw it coming.

SOTG said...

By "New World Order", does she mean an order of pie?

SOTG said...

That's a two-porta-potty gal if I've ever seen one!

SOTG said...

Did Fergie and Weight Watchers part ways?

SOTG said...

Visualize World Pizza

ColoradoPatriot said...

Okay, so imagine this Twinkie represents the lies of a typical presidential administration...oh nevermind. Do you have any Ho-Ho's? Or those little chocolate donuts? Just bring them all.

SOTG said...

Ooompa ooompa ommpadee doo,
I've got another riddle for you.
What do you get when you have a screw loose?
No job and bad hair and you look like a moose!
You would do better not eating so much,
Then you might find a person to touch.
The way that Michael Jackson does.

SOTG said...

To other gal walking by: "GET IN MAH BELLY!"

SOTG said...

"You can have my Choco-dile when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"

SOTG said...

"Hey hey! Ho Ho! Water and salad has to go!"

SOTG said...

It would be a full hour before Penelope rolled over to discover that her puppy was not lost after all.

SOTG said...

The needs of the belly outweigh the need for the loo.

SOTG said...

Tina Yothers didn't do so well after Family Ties went off the air.

SOTG said...

George Bush doesn't care about portly lesbians!

SOTG said...

Uhm, Kitten?... "The 911 truth" is that cops come when you call that number. Did you perchance mean "9/11", you bloated sack of protoplasm?

SOTG said...

Janie the Hutt

SOTG said...

Obscure reference: As it moved forward, they noticed it had burned words into the field... "NO KILL I"

SOTG said...

Veronica tried in vain to hold her breath as she quickly walked by. The smell of pickles and Yoo-Hoo were overwhelmingly nauseating.

Curious Onlurker said...

Lovely Horta reference!

Anonymous said...

No Bon-Bons for Oil!

Anonymous said...

A passerby wonders why Penelope didn't notice the air hose before she sat on it.

Anonymous said...

Bush may be a divider, but that's not why her left and right buttocks have different zip codes.

bubbalove said...

That pair of undies has more 'X's on it than a Tracy Lords film!!

Anonymous said...

Penelope thinks, "I hope that goddamned Greenpeace doesn't try pushing me back into the water again."

Anonymous said...

Passerby thinks, "That reminds me - I should call Jenny Craig."

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Hey, Cindy...if you're gonna be in there all afternoon, could we get a courtesy flush?"

Anonymous said...

The other side of the sign says, "Will protest for food."

Anonymous said...

Security at the demonstration was provided by sumo novitiates.

Anonymous said...

The passerby wonders if grass will ever grow there again.

Anonymous said...

Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Male walrus: "Hubba hubba!"

Anonymous said...

In the belly of the beast...

SOTG said...

Nice catch, curious! V the K's audience is excellent at catching obscure refs. :)

Submariner said...

On Ripley's tonight, the strange case of crop circles - how they form.

Van Helsing said...

You can tell by the absence of lines at the Portopotties that organizers overestimated how many participants would be toilet-trained. Providing a grazing field was a nice touch though.

Targetpractice said...

Perhaps when this moonbat isn't "visualizing peace," she can visualize using a Stairmaster.