Thursday, September 29, 2005

Moonbat Festival VI: The Unrecovered Moonbat

1. "Hey, check out that guy with the tie-dyed colostomy bag. Wait... that's not tie dye... that's not tie dye!"

2. The funny little yelps of pain she made when he squeezed really hard secretly delighted the moonbat.

3. "Wow, are you seriously taking me to the abbatoir? I've never had French food before."

4. "Hey, look, Daphne, there's Velma working the NOW booth. Now all we need to do is find Shaggy and Scooby."

5. "OK, when I give the signal, you fake a seizure, and I'll break into their cars while their attention is distracted."

6. "Look at the smoke... we'll never find Towelie in this environment. What were we thinking?"

7. "Daddy, you're not going to swap me for a VW van again are you? Are you?"

8. "Hey, remember the last time we were on the Mall? You tripped out, tried to go Lewinsky on the Washington Monument and chipped your teeth. Then, you went to the Lincoln Memorial, kept flashing your breasts and shouting, 'Four-score this, Honest Abe!'" "Of course, I remember that was Tuesday."

9. "Hon, I just had a thought. What Bush didn't lie? What if liberating Iraq was the right thing to do? What if the war isn't about oil?... Oh, gawd, somebody get me a joint, I'm becoming lucid!"

10. "Aw, come on. He's promised to trade us some really good dope and all he wants to do is watch. What are you afraid of? Women in Mexico do it with horses all the time. Did I say Mexico? I meant France."

From Narley on a Tip From Van Helsing

5 comments:

Van Helsing said...

"Hey, there's a lifesize cardboard cutout of President Bush. Let's go rub its crotch for good luck like those other kooks are doing."

occasional reader said...

"Yes, 'baby', I really think you're 'groovy' and 'far-out'. Now just keep walking, my van's parked right over there. And don't forget to put on your duct tape. I MEAN SEAT BELT, your seat belt."

Kevin Walker said...

Sorry to go off-topic here, but I couldn't resist:

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/SPORT/09/25/brazil.alonso/top.alonso1.afp.jpg

F1 driver after winning the driver's championship.

occasional reader said...

"Yes, my dear, once my people roamed free over this entire plain, hunting the buffalo, and living in harmony with nature."

"But... Professor Churchill, I thought you said you were Cherokee, and I don't think there were any Cherokee in the Chesapeake Bay area OWWW YOU'RE HURTING MY WRIST!"

Jonathan said...

Jimmy Buffett traded in his guitar for a green man-purse, and went to the moonbat rally with his limping girlfriend Fern.

"How I got here, I haven't a clue!"